


Sanguinem Luna

by BattleScarredKitsune



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Coming Out, Dark, F/M, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, No Bella Swan, Non-Canon Relationship, Non-canon past, Original Character(s), Original Vampire Mythos, Trauma, this is not a fluffy fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:20:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23253844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleScarredKitsune/pseuds/BattleScarredKitsune
Summary: Even after decades have passed, there are memories, mental scars, that have not faded. Ghosts and monsters terrorize even the most remote places of his mind. Edward finds himself a phantom in the world, always alone even surrounded by those about whom he cares. A chance meeting may finally give him the peace for which he has always longed, as long as the devils of his mind don't destroy it first.
Relationships: Jacob Black/Edward Cullen
Comments: 27
Kudos: 77





	1. Gates of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I am not a fan of Twilight. However, my muse was like “We should do this!” and would not shut up about it, so here I am… Please be warned I have changed much of the vampire mythos. I just cannot take a sparkly vampire seriously. My writing style is also naturally dark, no matter what I seem to write. I will try my best to have warnings for any chapter that may need them.
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters etc. pertaining to Twilight are Stephanie Meyer's.

High school. To many teenagers, it was a nuisance, a place and time where drama occurred and their lives were “going to hell." However, for me, it was. This was the embodiment of the infernal fiery depths humans described in scripture, a punishment for past deeds. It was a constant reminder of what I could no longer attain and hopes that were all but crumbled to dust. Everything burned around me and even my mind was no reprieve. There was a constant cacophony of noise filtering through and I continually fought to keep them out.

Among the litany of voices were a few I pushed away out of a sense of obligation and to give them privacy. Still, despite my best efforts, their thoughts still permeated through. By now, they were used to it, the intrusion I couldn’t turn off. My family, or rather adoptive family, both understood and resented my supposed “gift.” It was useful in keeping us safe, much like my sister’s ability to See into the future, but it was also a curse. I knew what they were thinking whenever they were close, their familiarity lengthening the distance I could hear their “voices,” and with Alice’s Sight and her mate’s empathy, secrets were few. Ironic as we ourselves were a huge secret in this small little town.

I broke away from my musings when I sensed my brother’s thoughts shifting from boredom and his stray thoughts to a girl walking past our table. _“Smells so good…” He imagined himself standing up, walking over and caressing the girl, moving her blonde hair over her shoulder and bending down as if to kiss her nape, opening his mouth a little wider..._ Quickly, I kicked him before he continued the thought. His control wasn’t great and it wasn’t helping mine. Brown with hints of onyx looked back at me almost guiltily. I shrugged. I was immensely glad that no one else could read my thoughts, as hypocritical as the thought suggested. Jasper and I were kin in many ways, we both struggled, but whereas he struggled with the constant thirst, I struggled with my own black thoughts.

“You weren’t going to do anything,” Alice murmured quietly so only those of us with enhanced hearing could catch the remark. She rubbed a hand up and down Jasper’s arm trying to help keep him calm. I nodded, even as Alice and I shared a look. The pixie-like girl had seen quite the opposite, but I knew she did it to support him. Jasper was struggling, he would need to hunt. Tonight.

I gave a soft mental sigh as Alice comforted Jasper and my other two siblings lost themselves in each other. I was in my own version of hell. Every day we played the game, were the perfect actors and every day I watched them support each other as we went through hell.

Finally, lunch was over. We picked up our props and discarded them, walking to our next class. Alice and I parodied juniors while our siblings impersonated a year above. How many times had we done this? Another sigh. I glanced out through the window into dreary grey skies. _Ha. The clouds mirror my mood exactly. Perhaps their mercurial companionship is all I will ever have._

The rest of the day was a blur. Classes were boring and gym was frustrating, though Emmett felt far worse about the latter. The day ended with a stream of children filing out to the parking lot to catch a bus or drive home. As usual, I was the first to the car, the other two pairs waiting for their significant other before joining me. I watched through the rearview mirror as they made it to the car and climbed in. It hurt, but by now the ache was familiar.

Despite the quiet in the car, my mind was crowded with thoughts other than my own. Always, always I was surrounded by them. My siblings’ desires, fears, loves, their pity as they looked at me. It frustrated me to no end, yet to leave could be the downfall of all of us. Our way of life did not endear us to others of our kind. I tried to block them out, but with such proximity, it was almost futile. Alice was looking into the future, images flashing by our eyes. Our sister Rosalie looked out the window mesmerized by how she looked in her reflection and Emmett thought about trying to convince us to wrestle.

 _“Come on, Edward, it would be great! Just turn off that ability of yours and we could_ really _have some fun!”_ he grinned at me. In many ways, reading my brother’s mind wasn’t so bad. He always said what he thought. He and Rose were opposites in many ways. One easy-going, the other was high strung and high maintenance.

Glancing back into the rearview mirror I caught Jasper’s gaze. It was resigned, much like his thoughts, but Alice turned around from the passenger’s seat and smiled at him. Without even having my ability they sensed what their other halves were thinking, not truly, but close enough in many aspects. It hurt. Seeing them love their mate through their eyes. It was even worse when I received the looks, and so I tried even harder to block them out.

The drive to the house was all too familiar and once I turned away from the main town, I let the Volvo rev and flew down the pavement. The twist and turns along the drive flew by and finally, the trees thinned and welcomed the house. I didn’t step on the brakes until we were almost upon the garage and then let the vehicle skid right into its spot. All four of them got out of the car and walked into the house. Esme hummed from her office upstairs.

 _“This will look lovely once restored…”_ she was working on blueprints for restoring an old brownstone. I sighed as I looked around at my siblings. My sisters discussed fashion and their little pet projects. Emmett somehow convinced Jasper to wrestle in the backyard and once again, I was alone. My eyes lingered onto the piano perched elegantly on a raised platform. The ivory and ebony of the instrument shown simply. Music was a passion, one of the few things that I truly loved and so I walked over and let my fingers dance across the keys. 

The music flowed from the piano, its notes pure as they were struck, dancing around each other in harmonies or standing alone. My emotions poured themselves out with the melody, the only time I really let myself go. Deeper tones vibrated through the air, giving voice to my loneliness and melancholy while a few lone clear-pitched notes answered my hope. In moments like these, I could better ignore the thoughts of those around me, but like anything good, something always came along to destroy it.

The familiar rumble of Carlisle’s Mercedes came to my ears and Esme blurred her way down the stairs to welcome her mate home from his shift at the hospital. I played more subdued and looked around. A part of me was glad I could help keep them safe, but another part of me was bitter. I was the first to join Carlisle’s coven, yet I was still quite alone. My gaze flitted to my sire and I saw and heard everything I didn’t want to know.

 _“He is struggling,_ ” Carlisle looked around and then back at me, despite my turning around and trying to pretend I couldn’t hear him. _“He is so alone, sometimes I wonder…_ ” There it was, the guilt. _“Perhaps he was too young, too hurt to be changed._ ”

 _“Oh, Edward,_ ” Esme’s voice mirrored her husband. Again, bitterness washed through me as I saw once again how in tune they all were with each other. _“I wish he would find his happiness._ ”

A wave of calm hit me and I looked back at Jasper who had come in through the back. _“Are you all right?”_ The music stopped. It wasn’t me anymore. I needed to breathe, I needed to be free to be myself.

Not deigning a response to his question, I walked through the doorway he had come in through and let myself disappear. I ran and I wouldn’t stop running until I was away from everyone. Minutes passed and finally, finally, the only voice in my head was my own.

I stood on the ridge just looking over the trees. There was a part of me that wanted to just keep running and not look back. I loved my family, but they just didn’t seem to understand. I was an outsider. I had no one with whom to share the darkest parts of myself, no one to help be a foil for the monster I had become. Yes, they cared, but when the day was done, they all had someone to whom they could return. There was no one for me.

My brooding was interrupted by a scent floating on the air. It was faint, but it called to me. Running through the verdant trees, I followed the call until I was just outside the border. _Strange_. I sniffed again and caught the scent once more, along with other whiffs in the air, these far less pleasant. Not wanting to be blamed for any potential break in the treaty, I turned and left. Perhaps a hunt would satisfy me. I needed to remain calm and collected. It would do no one good for me to be anything but.

Following the scents on the air yet again, I let my mind slip into my baser instincts. A group of deer was close together grazing in the fading light. They didn’t smell entirely appetizing, but they would satiate the thirst for now. Among the throng was an older looking buck, though still in its prime, its antlers fanning majestically above its head. To any human hunter, the buck would have been a valuable prize, for me, it was simply a way to clench my thirst.

On silent feet, I darted out of the underbrush from where I watched my prey. Not caring for the others in the herd, I went straight for the buck. Some instinct must have alerted them to the presence of a predator for the deer scattered, but not before I was already upon my intended prize. The buck ran a few strides before I brought it down, its heavy body nothing compared to my strength. I bit down quickly along its artery. A quiet ran through the field as I fed, the buck’s movements subsiding as I slowly drained it. Eventually, nothing but the wind whispering through the trees moved. 

Setting the buck down, I looked up at the sky. Deep blues and purples colored the expanse as the last vestiges of orange and pink fell behind the horizon. I leaned against a tree, one arm lying lazily across my right knee like an armrest, while my other leg extended out. This was probably the most relaxed I had been in months, or perhaps longer. The scent from before had me calm, despite its fading some time ago. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, I remained where I was, watching as the stars twinkled into existence against the black velvet canvas. For the first time in a long while, I felt calm because I was at peace. There was no manipulating my emotions, no forcing myself to composure, just a natural serenity. This tranquility was magnified as I had no other voices in my head. It was quiet. All I could hear were the natural sounds of the night and a song started coming to me.

I took a breath and smiled. A part of me was actually excited to return home, to actually hear this melody with my ears and not just what I hoped it sounded like. In my musings, my hands danced playing the imaginary keys and my eyes closed. I felt the breeze play with my hair and I let down my defenses. The air filling my lungs was clean and crisp. No scent of humans, of others of my kind, just vegetation and the small wafts of fauna. Finally.

The darkest part of the night crept up and I knew I needed to return, my family would be worried and the last thing I needed was for them to come looking for me. A sigh escaped my lips as I stood. With one last look at this small little sanctuary, I ran back toward the house. Every step had me returning to the same stoic, uncaring facade I had spent decades perfecting. By the time I walked through the back door, not a trace of the freedom I tasted remained.

 _“Finally!”_ Alice sounded exasperated.

 _“He is calm,_ ” Jasper’s inner voice sounded curious and I had no intention of answering any of the unvoiced questions.

Rosalie’s next words had me burying into myself even more, _“Always sulking. He needs to just get over whatever the hell is bothering him. He’s not the only one with problems._ ”

 _“Dude, you missed wrestling! Come on, it would’ve been great!”_ the grin Emmett flashed almost made up for his wife.

 _“I hope he is all right,_ ” concern reverberated through me as Esme’s thoughts came to me. I knew she thought of me as the son she had lost and it made me feel conflicted.

 _“Edward_ ,” my eyes shot to Carlisle, _“we need to talk_.” Aloud he continued, “Let us all move to the dining room.” As we had no use for the traditional function of a dining room, it had become a sort of conference room, a place for us to discuss anything of importance among the whole family. It also tended to witness most of the family arguments that ensued with so many strong, contrasting personalities.

Following the others, we all sat around the table. Carlisle, as per usual, sat at the head of the table, Esme seated to his left, his hand holding hers. I claimed the chair to Carlisle’s right. In vampire culture, I was second to Carlisle, if I ever truly wanted the position, being his first-turned and first into his coven. Alice sat next to me, her small stature belying her exuberant personality. The only reason she wasn’t skipping around the room was Jasper’s hand on her shoulder and the subtle relaxation he was pushing toward his wife. He remained standing and we traded knowing looks. Emmett and Rosalie sat across from them and, as always, Rosalie sat far away from me as possible without being overtly obvious.

“Now that we are all here,” Carlisle began, “we can discuss what is going on in Seattle. There have been several reports of deaths under mysterious circumstances. However, the pattern is something with which we are all familiar.”

“Someone is hunting in Seattle, potentially raising newborns,” Jasper’s southern burr received a nod of agreement.

“Yes,” my sire’s voice was grave. “We need to monitor the situation before it gets worse-”

“Why?” the contempt in Rosalie’s voice clear. “We aren’t doing anything. If we get involved it could just spell disaster for us. We _finally_ might be able to graduate. Why spoil this?” The timbre of her thoughts wasn’t much better and I tried my damnedest to block everyone out, her especially.

“Rosalie,” Carlisle’s voice was even, understanding, “we are the only permanent coven in this area. If something goes wrong in this territory, we may be blamed regardless. Whoever is responsible may simply leave. If not, we must be ready to speak with them.”

“What if they don’t feel like talking?” Emmett bluntly asked, a grin stretched from ear to ear. " _Maybe I can_ finally _let loose!"_

“We will cross that bridge if we come to it, but hopefully we can resolve this diplomatically,” the doctor continued, eyeing my more athletically inclined brother. He looked around the table. “Does anyone have anything to add?” Visions flitted across my consciousness as Alice tried looking into the future. From all the snippets, it seemed there were still many decisions left affecting the outcome.

“I can’t yet see anything useful, we will just have to wait,” she pouted, crossing her arms, while Jasper gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. His gaze caught mine and I crushed the nascent feelings trying to surface. They were superfluous and wouldn’t help anything. I said nothing.

“All right, we shall monitor the situation then. If that’s all, I would suggest we all go for a short hunt, there are still a few hours before school.” Nods all around, except for myself, as everyone began to get up. “Edward?”

“I already hunted, I will stay here in the meantime,” my tone of voice carefully neutral.

A hesitant, though not obviously so, nod accompanied, “Very well.” 

Soon enough, I was alone again in the house, though more out of my own doing. The song from before played in my mind and my fingers itched to race across the keys. In the silence of the manor, the first few notes resonated through. The feeling of calm returned, the peaceful presence of the clearing filling me again. 

The song was different from the others I had written lately. Instead of the melancholy sadness and loneliness that pervaded my very being, it was softer, more timid, as if the start of something new, a new chapter. I continued to play long after finishing the final notes, letting my fingers dance along ivory and ebony keeping my mind entranced. However, a stray thought in the back of my mind told me that any happiness that may be on the horizon would be eclipsed by the very darkness that always followed me.

Needing the strange peaceful presence now more than ever, I played and for the first time in a long time, I prayed. _Please let something good come of this._

The following morning we all acted our parts. Us “children” readied ourselves for school, while Carlisle grabbed his bag to return to the hospital. Part of me was impressed by his ability to be around humans and blood for so long, but I knew his restraint was borne out of patience and his compassion. I watched as my sire and the man who was the closest thing to a father I had stepped into a black Mercedes and drove off.

 _“We don’t have all day,_ ” Rosalie’s acerbic voice hit me and I held back a snarl. Looking through the rearview mirror, she resolutely kept her gaze out the window, hands crossed over her chest. I pulled out of the garage and drove the same route back to the school, barely paying any mind to the world.

An open spot near the treeline caught my attention and I parked there, drawn to the veritable green. Four doors opened and we all stepped out of the car, making our way over to the building that would be hell for the next several hours. Even after all this time, the students, and faculty, still stared. A rogue part of me wanted to act the age I looked and just turn around and leave, but I had no desire to hear the caustic remarks sent my way.

Watchful eyes tracked our progress toward the main doors, whispers talking and then fading when we grew near only to resume when we were sufficiently far away. I snorted, earning a look from Alice as we headed toward our class. I shook my head and then cocked it slightly in the direction of a group of students huddled by a set of lockers.

 _“They still think we can’t hear them?_ ” her voice full of mirth. I looked up casually and then straight ahead, my version of a silent yes. A jingled laugh floated from her direction.

Classes were as boring and monotonous as all the previous days. The time when high school was fascinating long since passed. There were a few times in this day in age where I truly learned something new from the teachers. _Next time it’s decided we start over, I think I’ll just go to a university._

Beside me, Alice continued to scan the future and I watched the scenes dance in and out. For now, it seemed our visitors would be remaining in Seattle, but there were flashes of another place. Actually, places. Whoever it was, the visions suggested they were moving from city to city. As I observed the visions, a spike of familiarity and dread hit me. There were deaths, many of them, that lent to the idea of newborns, but some of them, some of the deaths were more systematic. One, in particular, was more clear and I feared we were watching it moments, maybe hours, before it was going to happen.

A young woman, perhaps early in her college career, was walking home and that was the last time anyone would see her alive. Her stalker, her _killer_ , regarded her with red eyes and he snatched her before she even knew what happened. Throughout the entire vision, we could not see the person’s face, but I knew it was a male. He bled her, tore claws into her, raped her, and continued until there was nothing but a corpse lying where once there was a beautiful girl full of life.

Alice pulled away, her hands clasped tightly into fists and her normally pale complexion almost gaunt. I placed a hand gently on her thigh wishing her husband was here to help. While Alice had seen much in her years, the amount of carnage was still gruesome. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing that I could sit here calm as I was. This level of torture wasn’t new to me. I had seen it first-hand many years ago and I hoped and prayed that I would never have to witness it again. 

Red eyes stared at me in a mockery of a smile, thoughts I long-suppressed coming back and playing in a macabre movie moving all their own. _Had you finally found another who shared your thirst or is there another depraved soul leading the charge?_

I stayed close to Alice after that and we walked to the lunchroom in somber silence. Feeling the fear and sadness that had to have been radiating from the pixie, Jasper practically ran to his mate and tried his best to smooth.

 _“What happened? What did she See?”_ he asked quickly, peering over her head at me.

“I will explain once we are all here,” I motioned toward our typical table. No one tried to sit there and even the tables close by were seldom occupied. Grabbing food, the three of us made our way over to the table, Rosalie and Emmett taking their time, the former studiously ignoring everyone. Jasper and I sat on either side of Alice as she leaned against her husband. 

_“She okay, bro?_ ” I almost wanted to snort at Emmett’s question, but I could tell he was sincere, so I simply shook my head. The blonde sighed and set her tray down with more force than necessary, keeping her distance both physically and metaphorically.

“Alice saw one of our kind,” I decided to speak, answering so low only those with enhanced hearing would be able to discern anything. “He was terrorizing humans in what we believe to be Seattle. Not all of the attacks are from newborns and, whoever this is, he relishes in torturing his victims. Unfortunately, Alice saw all of it.” Over the years of my life, I found that straightforward honesty was in many ways the best choice. Both of my brothers looked at Alice with concern and Rose finally turned to offer cold support, but still ignored my presence almost entirely. Her blatant disregard pushed me further away, reminding me how alone I really was.

  
  



	2. Not All Legends are Myths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe during this time. Here is the second chapter and I hope it brings some comfort to those who read it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Twilight. The myths and legends herein are from Stephanie Meyer in Eclipse.
> 
> Edit: May 29th, 2020 - I re-wrote a lot of the myths to better work with the mythos I am using, though they are largely still based on what Stephanie Meyer wrote.

Everything felt warm, it was weird. The middle of winter and I could just walk outside in cutoffs and it was all fine. Dad kept looking at me strangely, like he was waiting for something but I had no idea what it was. It was like I was getting some sort of growth spurt, too. Even without working out, I was almost as big as some of the older kids on the reservation, and it was great!

But my dad wasn’t the only one looking at me, or rather staring at me, like I was some sort of strange specimen. The Elders were watching me like a hawk and it was getting creepy. Even some of the older boys, namely Sam, were starting to pay more attention. I had no idea why, but it was kind of nice, if I could ignore the looks.

Sighing, I continued the chores Dad had put up on the fridge. Ever since the twins left, it had just been us living in the house and we had come to a sort of agreement on chores and whatnot. It was actually pretty easy living with him. After taking out the trash, I grabbed the mail. Normally, I just dumped it all onto the kitchen table but the headline caught my attention.

**SERIAL KILLER IN SEATTLE?**

Last night, another body was found in the upper east side of Seattle. The newest victim, a local female college student, marks the seventh death of unknown circumstances. Police have little information to provide to the public. Like the other six bodies, little blood was found at the dumpsite, with significant damage to the neck. Our sources believe that the victims were dumped at these locations and that all seven were targeted and killed elsewhere.

For your safety, the Seattle Police Department urges all citizens to travel in groups and…

I stopped reading as my eyes looked over at the grainy black and white picture that accompanied the blurb. A shiver raced down my spine as I looked at the body. Bile rose up in my throat and I was suddenly glad that whoever took the photo hadn’t gotten a better shot, even from a distance, it was a gruesome sight. Not wanting to see any more, I set the newspaper down, flipping it over for good measure and double-checked the list, trying my best to ignore what I had seen and read. 

However, a wave of heat coursed through me and pain raced up my back. I stumbled for a moment, catching myself on the counter, as I focused on just breathing through it.  _ What the hell? Did I catch something? _ I shook my head and decided to get some fresh air. Two steps out onto the porch and I was doubled over. Everything hurt and I couldn’t stop myself from shaking, like my body was convulsing. Something inside me ripped and I tried to scream, the pain in my limbs becoming almost unbearable. 

A lone howl pierced the silence and terror raced down my spine, dread and fear settled deep into my gut. The world tilted and changed. I was panting, but… it was wrong. I was wrong. I tried to move and froze. It was a paw. My hand was a paw.  _ What… no… that’s not… that’s not right. What- what’s going on?  _ The world spun as I turned.

“Jake?” my father’s voice drifted to me from inside the house. I could hear the wheels of his chair moving, the skidding of their rubber against the wood floors. I couldn’t get air into my lungs, or maybe I could, but I couldn’t keep it. Pants rang in my ears.  _ I need to leave… he-he can’t see me like this. _

I ran. I had no idea where I was going, what I was doing. I needed to go away. My heart was pounding and my blood felt cold, even as my body flooded with heat.  _ What should I do? What- _ A whine escaped my throat and I just kept going.  _ This has to be a nightmare. _

_ “It’s okay, _ ” a voice that wasn’t mine whispered.

_ “What-? Who are you?”  _ I was panicking.  _ Who was there? Did they know what was going on? What could I do?  _

_ “Calm down, it’s okay. Slow down and stop, breathe. It’s all going to be okay. _ ” The voice sounded familiar. I knew this person, or voice. My feet finally stopped. I ached everywhere. The muscles in my back and shoulders along with my lungs  _ burned _ . My legs quivered as I tried to get air into my protesting lungs.  _ I feel like shit. _

_ “It gets better with time, _ ” the voice came again and I looked around only to find a huge black wolf staring at me. I stilled.  _ What the hell was going on? _ The shaking didn’t stop, tremors racked my whole frame as I stared at the wolf.  _ “Calm down. If you calm down I can help you change back and I will explain everything,” _ the wolf sat on its haunches just watching.

_ “Change… back?”  _ I thought.  _ “Wait, you can… hear me?” _ That was disturbing.

_ “Yes, but calm yourself. I will explain. First, you need to understand. We are Quileute warriors, shapeshifters, werewolves. The legends are true. We protect the tribe from the Cold Ones…” _ I listened but couldn’t comprehend it all. The legends were true? Did that mean I was stuck like this? Was that why I felt so different? Does my dad know? Wait, how am I supposed to explain all of this to him? What about everything I had hoped to do? What about my future?

_ “It will be okay, _ ” the other repeated. Okay? This was going to be okay? I wasn’t human. How was this going to be okay? I was now expected to kill these… Cold Ones? I couldn’t breathe. My vision shook. The world shifted again and this time my skin touched the cold, wet forest floor. Not caring for my ruined state, I cried.

It was hard to tell how much time had passed, but my butt was starting to get sore and the ground was not comfortable against my skin. Looking up I watched the black wolf turn and walk away behind a tree and heard rustling. The next thing I saw was Sam walking back from the same place the wolf had gone.  _ What the hell? _

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, Jacob,” the older Quileute began. I just nodded my head not trusting anything right now. He gave me a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s first start by going somewhere a little more comfortable,” Sam spoke while extending a hand. Grasping it, I was helped up and I realized I was naked. Well, fuck. A cough had me looking up at Sam who at least had the decency to look only at my face. “We will also get you some clothes.”

I nodded absently, feeling like all of this was some sort of crazy out of body experience. It would be fine. Nothing to worry about. I just could turn into a giant wolf. It was totally… not normal.  _ Just breathe, Jake. Yep, that’s it. Just need to breathe. It’ll all work out. Maybe this is all a dream and I’ll wake up in bed… or not. _ As I saw another wolf run by further in the trees.

Somehow I couldn’t believe it. My life was seriously messed up. How the hell was I supposed to keep going on with my life if I would randomly change into a giant freaking  _ wolf? _ I seriously doubted that walking, or loping or whatever wolves did, around town wasn’t going to raise any eyebrows. Or guns.  _ Yeah, let’s not get shot, Jake. _

On top of not hyperventilating or breaking down or some other stupid act that I’d probably want to forget, I followed Sam through the trees. It took a lot longer than I thought to get home and, outside the mantra I kept repeating in my head no matter how untrue it seemed, a shiver went through me as it occurred to me that Charlie was dad’s best friend. The  _ police chief _ was dad’s best friend. Last I checked, nudity in public was a crime.  _ Please don’t decide to come over, please don’t decide to come over. _

Somehow we made it to the house and I snuck in through the front, practically hyperventilating. Sam walked in behind me and I tried my best to ignore the fact that I was still naked. One foot on the stairs and then I heard,

“Jake? You home? Where have you been! I was worried-” I turned to stare at my dad who was staring right back.  _ Yep, I’m screwed. How the hell can I explain this?  _

“Dad, I-”

“Billy,” Sam interrupted and my father tore his gaze from me, much to my relief. “He shifted.” Wait, what? My dad swung his head back over to me, eyes wide, and then nodded.

“Go get some clothes on son, we need to talk.” With that, I practically ran up the stairs. I really didn’t want to hear anything, but I was also terrified if I didn’t go.  _ Maybe things really will be okay… _

When I came back downstairs, I heard my dad’s voice on the phone and then his chair moving from the kitchen. I walked over to the kitchen table and tried, unsuccessfully, to look like I wasn’t freaking out.

“It seems the gene did not skip both of us,” my dad gave me a sad smile. “You have heard the stories of our tribe, but now you will hear them and see the truth. We are going to the cliffs tonight. Normally we would wait, but it appears we do not have the time.” With that, he turned and made his way outside. All I could do was stand there. It didn’t even occur to me that Sam wasn’t in the house anymore and I found myself practically tripping over myself to follow.

Like many things that happened today, I wasn’t really aware of how we got to the cliffs. I stepped out of the driver’s seat and walked around to help my dad get into his chair. This was all so surreal. Thankfully, I hadn’t felt the tearing or shaking of earlier, but my stomach was so twisted in knots I wasn’t even sure I could think of food.

Surrounding a roaring bonfire of blues and greens and licks of orange sat the tribal elders, Sam, Paul, and Embry. I blinked a few times wondering how they were all here and  _ why _ they were all here. 

“Come sit, it’s getting colder,” my dad’s voice brought me back and I realized he was already moving himself toward the circle. I joined with mixed parts reluctance, fear, and curiosity. When everyone was settled, my dad spoke.

“The Quileutes have always been a small people since we first came to be,” he started. “And we are still a small people, but we have always endured. We have endured because we have always had magic in our blood. It wasn’t always the magic of today, the magic of shape-shifting. First, we were spirit warriors.

“Our people settled in this harbor, in the beginning, and became skilled shipbuilders and fishermen. But the tribe was small, however, and the harbor was rich in fish to the point where there were others who coveted our land. Our people were too small to hold it and so when a larger tribe moved against us, we took to our ships and fled.

“Kaheleha was the first great Spirit Chief in our history, though he was not the first spirit warrior nor do we know who came before. Though we do not remember who was the first to discover this power, or how it had been used before this crisis, Kaleleha used this great magic to defend our people. 

“He along with all his warriors left the ships, but not with their bodies, with their spirits. Those remaining, their wives and families, watched over their bodies as they ventured through the waves. 

“The warriors could not physically touch the enemy tribe when they returned to the harbor, but they had other ways. The stories describe great gales they could conjure and how they blew fierce winds into their enemy’s camps, the screams imbued into the winds terrifying their foes. The stories also tell us that the animals could see the spirit warriors and understand them, that the animals would do their bidding. It was this that turned the tides with their magic.

“The invading tribe favored large, thick-furred dogs they had used in the frozen north to pull their sleds. Thus, as Kaheleha took his spirit army and wreaked havoc on the intruders, they used their magic to turn the dogs against their masters. From the cliff caverns far above, they called upon a mighty infestation of bats. Using the screams riding along the winds, the spirit warriors aided the dogs and bats until victory, causing chaos and terror. The remaining peoples of the invading tribe were scattered, fear replacing their desire for conquest. As they fled, they called our harbor a cursed place. As thanks, the spirit warriors released the dogs and let them run wild, returning to their bodies and families in victory.

“The other nearby tribes, the Hohs and the Makahs, made treaties with the Quileutes. They wanted nothing to do with our magic and so we lived in peace with them. When an enemy threatened our kin, the spirit warriors would drive them off. And so it was.

“Generations passed before the last great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki, came. He was known for his wisdom, and for being a man of peace. The people lived well and content in his care. Though not all,” here my dad drew in a deep breath, staring into the fire as if reliving the old legends themselves.

“There was one man, Utlapa, who was not content with the peace. Utlapa was one of Chief Taha Aki’s strongest spirit warriors; a powerful man in his own right, but a grasping man. He believed the Quileute people should harness and use their magic to expand their lands, to enslave the Hohs and the Makahs, and build an empire.

“Now, the stories tell us that when the warriors were their spirit selves, they knew each other’s thoughts and Taha Aki saw what Utlapa dreamed, what he desired. Taha Aki was angry with Utlapa for his bloodthirstiness, so Utlapa was commanded to leave the people and never use his spirit self again. Utlapa had no choice but to leave. Though he was a strong man, the chief’s warriors outnumbered him. Yet, he was also patient. The furious outcast hid in the forest nearby, waiting for a chance to get revenge against the chief.

“Even in times of peace, the Spirit Chief was vigilant in protecting his people. Often, he would go to a sacred, secret place in the mountains. He would leave his body behind and sweep down through the forests and along the coast, making sure no threat approached. Utlapa knew this and one day when Taha Aki left to perform this duty, he followed. Utlapa had simply planned to kill the chief when he first approached, but he was concerned. If he killed the chief, surely the spirit warriors would seek their revenge, seek to destroy him, and they could follow faster than he would be able to escape their wrath. As he hid amongst the rocks and watched the chief leave his body, another plan forged in his mind.

“Understanding his own vulnerability, Taha Aki always left his body in a secret place when he flew with the winds to keep watch over his people. It was far from the safety of the village and so Utlapa waited until he was sure the chief had traveled some distance with his spirit self. Once assured, he enacted this new plan.

“Taha Aki knew the instant that Utlapa had joined him in the spirit world, and he also knew Utlapa’s murderous plan. He raced back to his secret place, but even the winds weren’t fast enough to save him. When he returned, his body was already gone with Utlapa’s own body abandoned. Yet Utlapa had not left Taha Aki with an escape, no, he had cut his own body’s throat with Taha Aki’s hands.

“With little choice, Taha Aki followed his body down the mountain. He screamed at Utlapa, but Utlapa ignored him as if he were mere wind and Taha Aki watched with despair as Utlapa took his place as chief of the Quileutes. For the first few weeks, Utlapa did nothing but ensure that everyone believed he was Taha Aki, that nothing was amiss. Then the changes began. 

“Utlapa’s first edict was to forbid any warrior to enter the spirit world, claiming that he’d had a vision of danger, but was simply out of fear. He knew that Taha Aki would be waiting in the spirit world for the chance to tell his story. Utlapa was also afraid to enter the spirit world himself, knowing Taha Aki would quickly claim his body. His dreams of conquest with a spirit warrior army were rendered impossible now from his own actions. He sought to content himself with ruling over the tribe, becoming a burden, seeking privileges that Taha Aki had never requested. He refused to work alongside his warriors, took a young second wife, and then a third, though Taha Aki’s wife lived on, something unheard of in the tribe. Taha Aki watched in helpless fury as everything he worked for was tainted and destroyed.

“Taha Aki’s anger and repulsion led him to try and kill his own body to save the tribe from Utlapa’s desires. He called upon a fierce wolf down from the mountains, but Utlapa did not face it. Instead, the false chief hid behind his warriors causing the wolf to attack the warriors of the tribe. In its strive to fulfill its duty, the wolf killed a young man who was protecting Utlapa. Stricken with crumbling grief, Taha Aki ordered the wolf away.

“To be away from one’s body was disorienting, uncomfortable, and horrifying, even worse for such long periods of time. All the stories tell us that it was a risk to leave one’s body, the potential to fade away in the spirit world always present, and that it was far more frightening than exhilarating to be freed from one’s body, to have no physical connection to the world. It was only in times of great need that the spirit warriors used their magic, the chief’s solitary journeys, thus, were a burden and a sacrifice to keep his people safe. Taha Aki felt doomed to never make the next great journal to the final land where his ancestors waited, having been away from his body for so long. 

“Pain and agony laced through his spirit as he watched his people helplessly. Yet, he was not as alone as the endless emptiness foretold, the great wolf Taha Aki had called following him through this turmoil. Taha Aki resented the great beast, it had a beautiful, strong body it could use, while he had nothing. Jealousy and bitter emptiness coursed their way through Taha Aki as the wolf continued to remain unbidden by his side.

“It was when the wolf settled down next to his spirit that Taha Aki had the idea that changed us all. He could feel the tendrils of warmth from and a strange companionship with the huge beast. Why could they not share this lonely existence? And so, Taha Aki asked his lupine companion to make room for him, to share his body as they shared their now entwined journey. To his joy, the wolf complied. Taka Aki entered the wolf’s body with a flood of relief and gratitude and, though it was not his human body, it was better than the void of the spirit world.

“As both man and lupine, the grey wolf returned to the village along the harbor. Their great body instilled fear into the people and they ran in fear, shouting for the warriors to come. Grabbing their spears, the warriors ran to meet the wolf and defend their people, though Utlapa remained hidden and ensconced in the safety of the village.

“But the wolf did not act like a terror, did not attack any of the warriors. Though Taha Aki could not speak in this form, he spoke with his eyes and with the songs of his people in yips and howls. This level of awareness was not of a normal wolf and the warriors began to realize it was not an ordinary specimen of its kin. It was too aware, too knowing for it to only be an animal and they realized a spirit had to be influencing the beast. An older warrior named Yut disobeyed the false chief’s orders to never return to the spirit world and it was there he learned the truth.

“As Yut entered the spirit world, the wolf sat upon its haunches and Taha Aki left his new companion to speak to the warrior. In that moment they both crossed into the realm of spirits, the truth was revealed, all the deception and horror laid bare. The warrior gratefully welcomed back the true chief, relieved and gladdened to understand the veracity of events.

“As the two spirit warriors greeted each other and rejoiced, Utlapa emerged to see if the wolf had been defeated, but instead of a dead wolf corpse, he entered upon something else. Yut lay lifeless amongst a protective throng of warriors and, in an instant, he understood what was happening. Utlapa quickly drew his knife and raced forward to kill Yut before he could return to his body, fearing the truth.

“‘Traitor!’ he screamed in defiance and the warriors surrounding their comrade froze in confusion. The chief had forbidden spirit journeys and it fell solely to the chief on how to punish who disobeyed his words. They knew not what to do.

“Quickly, Yut jumped back into his body, ready to tell the truth to his people, but Utlapa already had his knife to his throat and a strong hand against his mouth. Before he could even warn the warriors watching the cruel scene with his eyes, his old body succumbed to the strength of Taha Aki’s body and was silenced forever. 

“A deep rage enveloped Taha Aki as he watched Yut’s spirit slip away along the winds to the final lands now barred to Taha Aki for all time. Yet, the anger flooding through him would not be quieted. Needing some sort of outlet, to avenge for the wrongness of all of Utlapa’s actions, Taha Aki rejoined the wolf, but before they could lunge for the throat of the vicious traitor, the greatest of magicks happened.

“All of Taha Aki’s emotions, the anger at all the wrongs, the love for his people, and the hatred for Utlapa were too foreign, too vast, too human to remain at all in a wolf’s body. In the moment of merging, the wolf shuddered and, before the eyes of shocked warriors and Utlapa alike, they transformed into a man. They were now one.

“Taha Aki’s body did not look like the one Utlapa had invaded, yet it was the somatic personification of his spirit. The warriors recognized the man standing in front of them, for they had spent countless journeys in the spirit world with him. Realizing now what their fallen brother had learned, the warriors turned to the false chief, indignation in their eyes.

“Utlapa tried to flee, but even the strong, invaded body of Taha Aki was no match for the strength of the wolf now resting in the chief’s new form. The true leader of the Quileute easily caught Utlapa and crushed the life from him before he could jump from the stolen body.

“Eruptions of joy sparked through the people when they understood what had happened and Taha Aki quickly worked to set everything right. He once again worked with his people and gave the young wives back to their families, asking for nothing more from his people. Yet, he realized that he could no longer allow spirit travels, it was too dangerous for any to make the journey. Thus, Taha Aki became the last of the spirit warriors and they were no more.

“With the unification of their spirits, Taha Aki was more than simply a wolf or a man, he was a strong protector of the people of both spirit and physical being. They began to call him Taha Aki the Great wolf or Taha Aki the Spirit Man. He led the tribe for many, many years, never aging beyond a day and always ready to protect his people. Whenever a danger surfaced, he assumed his wolf-self and fought or frightened the enemy away, casting peace across the lands once again. Throughout the years, Taha Aki fathered many sons and some found that, once they reached the age of manhood, they could also transform into the spirit wolves. Each wolf was different, for they reflected the true self of each man.” I sat enraptured and could picture exactly what he was saying and with sickening clarity, I realized what exactly happened today and what it meant.

“Some of Taha Aki’s sons became warriors and joined their father in defending the tribe, no longer aging as they communed with their wolf selves. Still, others did not want to accept the transformation and the burden of remaining young, reusing to join the pack of wolf-men. These sons began to age again when they no longer released their spirit wolf, allowing them to grow old like anyone else and passing beyond to the final lands of their people. Taha Aki lived a long life, the span of three old men, and had married a third wife after the deaths of his first two, finding in her his true spirit wife. There was a call to his spirit that he had not had with the others, though he loved his first two wives as any man would. Wishing for the joy of growing old and passing to the final lands with her, he gave up his spirit wolf.

“That is how the magic came to us, but it is not the end of the story… ” 

My dad’s voice seemed to thin all of a sudden, his body sagging into his chair. He then looked at Old Quil Ateara, who shifted in his chair, straightening his frail back and shoulders before continuing the oration, “That was the story of the spirit warriors, this is the story of the third wife’s sacrifice.” I listened both in trepidation and fascination as I learned about the greatest secret of the tribe.

“Years passed since Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, now an old man, when the tribe’s peace was once again broken. Trouble brewed in the north with the Makahs when several young women from their tribe disappeared, the blame being placed upon the neighboring wolves. Since the appearance of the spirit wolves, there was mistrust between the Quileutes and the other tribes. However, the wolf-men could still read each other’s thoughts when in their spirit wolf forms, they knew none of them was to blame. In an attempt to pacify the Makah chief, Taha Aki spoke to him assuring their innocence, but there were too much distrust and fear of the spirit wolves for words to placate. Fearing for his people and the dawn of war, Taha Aki charged his oldest wolf-son, Taha Wi, with finding the true perpetrator before any conflict ensued.

The pack, led by Taha Wi, searched through the mountains looking for any evidence of the missing Makah women. In their hunt, they came across something they had never encountered before: an overwhelming saccharine smell that burned their noses to the point of pain. Not knowing what sort of creature would leave such a stench, they followed it, dread following their wake,” Old Quil continued after a moment, his voice not as rich as my dad’s but still holding an eerie, otherworld timbre that caused a shiver to trail up my spine. Whatever creature they hunted scared me.

“The six wolves found the faint traces of human, and human blood, along the trail and was sure they were closer to discovering this unknown enemy. Following the redolence burning them, they continued far north, well beyond the borders they protected. Not wanting to leave the tribe unprotected, Taha Wi sent the three youngest back to the tribe. The three remaining brothers never returned.

“The three younger brothers tried to find their elders through the spirit link, but found nothing but silence. Taha Aki and his remaining sons grieved for the lost warriors, their brothers, his sons. Great despair and vengeance flooded him once again, but he was now old, no longer in possession of the strength and youth of his spirit wolf. Instead, he returned to the Makah chief in his mourning clothes and told him everything that happened, wanting to at least save the lives of his people and those of the other tribe. The Makah chief accepted and believed his grief, for it was too great to be a fallacy, thus abating the approaching storm whirling between the two tribes.

“Two Makah maidens once again disappeared from their homes on the same night a year later, pushing the Makahs to call upon the Quileute wolves at once. They ran to the tribe and encountered the same sickening sweet smell throughout the Makah village. The wolves had once again caught the scent of their prey, resuming their lost hunt.

“It was not to be, however, only one young wolf returning. The youngest of the pack, Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taka Aki’s third wife, loped back to the Quileute people. With him was something no one had ever seen: a cold, stony corpse with dark almost black blood he carried back in pieces. All those with wolf spirits, with Taha Aki’s blood even if they were not yet men in the village, could smell the unnatural stench clinging to the creature. They had at last found the enemy of the Makah tribe.

“The description of the battle from Yaha Uta was chilling. He spoke of how they found the creature in the wilderness looking like a man, but was unmoving as stone, a deep chill running through its body. Both of the Makah daughters were at his feet, one already dead, white and bloodless of the ground, while the other had a mien of stricken terror etched into her features, eyes wide in abstract horror, the creature’s teeth embedded in her throat. Upon realizing the creature was no longer alone, he removed his teeth, a feral smile gruesome in its entirety, only to snap the young girl’s neck. Blood smeared over the pale lips and fangs protruded down, his eyes gleaming in a deadly light.

“Yuha Uta continued to relate the fierce strength and speed of the creature and how one of his brothers was quickly turned into yet another victim of the monster when he underestimated the raw fortitude it displayed, ripping the young wolf to shreds in a bloody heap. The two remaining wolves worked in tandem to try and outmaneuver the terrifying creature. Their claws, though hitting and making tears into the tough-skin, the marks mended just as quickly. They could not maintain a strong grip and were forced to use their teeth, limiting their ability to fight. 

“Together, they managed to rip off small chunks of hardened flesh, but the creature adapted to their tactics quickly until finally, Yaha Uta’s brother was within its grasp. Hoping to save his brother, Yaha Uta lunged for the dark creature’s neck, ripping off the head, but it was too late. Cold fingers penetrated the beautiful brown fur, now covered in sluggish rivulets of crimson. Mourning for his lost brothers and fearful of the monster, Yaha Uta continued to rip it into unrecognizable chunks, finally destroying the creature.

“He had then run back to the tribe with the pieces to show the elders and chief. All eyes stared in horror at the bloodied corpse. They were all about to mourn their fallen warriors when a piece twitched. A dismembered hand had been poked toward an arm by an elder and it seemed to be aware of its gruesome state, longing to reform. Terrified, the elders quickly set the remains aflame, the orange and red flames licking away the filth of the creature.

“The pyre filled the village with putrid smoke, the dark, hazy clouds polluting the air with the same sickly sweet smell as before. Still fearing the monster to reconstruct itself, they separated the ashes into small pouches and spread them throughout the land, some in the ocean’s waves, some amongst the leaves and dirt of the forest, and still some hidden in the high reaching cliff caverns. As a reminder, Taha Aki wore a small satchel around his neck, so he may remember what had happened and if the creature ever tried to walk again.” The older Quil paused and sent a glance to my dad who pulled a leather thong out from around his neck.

Old Quil continued, “They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker. With only one wolf protector left, the tribe lived in fear that it was not alone and would seek revenge. It was not long after the disfigured corpse had burned to ash that another of its kin came. The monster had a companion, another blood drinker who came after the Quileute village for the loss of her mate.

“The stories detail the Cold Woman as the most beautiful form human eyes had ever laid upon, a personification of the sun, like the goddess of dawn, her golden hair flowing around her in waves. She wore little, her body made of the purest white with eyes glittering like the clearest of skies. Believing her to be another of the spirits, some fell to their knees to worship her and her beauty. Her words were unknown to all, but clear and high as a bell. Confusion swept through the people, not understanding how to communicate with the goddess.

“No one who encountered the beautiful creature was of Taha Aki’s blood, save one small boy. He clung to his mother’s leg and screamed that the stench was hurting his nose. An elder on his way to the council heard the cries and realized what the creature truly was: it was no goddess, but another of the Cold Ones. He screamed for the people to run, to alert Yaha Uta and the chief, but was cut off. The once pristine skin of the woman’s hand was now a bright crimson, her hand having speared through his chest.

“Trance broken, the people fled in horror, screams accosting the winds to the village. However, it was not to be. Her beauty was paralleled only to her awesome strength and speed, and she slaked her thirst amongst those running, allowing a few to reach the village. They ran to Taha Aki trying to tell him of this new threat. In counsel with the remaining elders, his sons, and third wife, the chief looked to Yaha Uta to protect their people. Yaha Uta quickly transformed into his spirit wolf as soon as they realized the danger. On his own, he went to destroy the blood drinker, though the rest of those in the chamber soon followed. 

“Confusion prevailed first, none able to find the creature, yet bodies lay broken and pale where they were strewn haphazardly. The sound of screams from the harbor drew them to another stark scene.

“Hoping for the safety of the water, many Quileutes had launched ships onto the water as a safe harbor, yet she swam after them as if a shark. With her strength, she ripped asunder the boats and caught those trying to swim away, leaving only death and destruction.

“The Cold One swung her gaze toward the shore where a great wolf stood and she allowed the few remaining people to get away, focused now on her quarry. Her body was a blur of motion as she swam back to the shore, revenge clear in every line.

“She pointed at Yaha Uta and screamed at him, the water dripping down her form yet showing no sign of cold or exhaustion, her beauty was unmarred and terrible. Then they were fighting.

“It was a close battle, for she was not the warrior her mate was, but Yaha Uta stood alone and had no distraction with which to gain the victory. It led to his death. When Taha Aki watched his son fall, he bellowed defiance and, even crippled with old age, shifted into an ancient, white-muzzled wolf. Though old, his rage fueled his spirit and the fight began anew. 

“It was a gruesome sight to behold and Taha Aki’s third wife had just watched her son be slain. She feared for her husband as he fought, but she had heard the stories and every word of the witnesses. Steeling herself, she grabbed a knife from one of the sons who stood beside her, none yet the age of adulthood. With fear and hope of protecting all those she loved guiding her, she ran up to the battle and plunged the blade into her heart, watching as she died the azure eyes focused on her dying form.

“The Cold Woman had held no fear of the feeble woman or knife, enjoying the final moments of her prey’s life, yet she had not expected the woman’s actions. So distracted by the scent of blood, Taha Aki lunged forward and closed his teeth around the Cold Woman’s neck.

“In the face of their mother’s sacrifice, two of the sons felt such rage and sorrow that they sprang forth as spirit wolves, though they were yet men. Together with their father, they ripped the creature apart and set the remains ablaze.

“The great chief, however, never rejoined the tribe, never turned back into a man again. For one whole day, Taha Aki lay beside the body of the third wife, keening in mourning and growling whenever another dared approach. He was never seen after.

“From then on, trouble with the Cold Ones was rare. Taha Aki’s sons remained as guardians for the tribe until their sons were old enough to take their places. Throughout the ages, there were never more than three wolves at a time, it was enough to protect the Quileute people. Occasionally, a blood drinker would appear in Quileute territory, but they were quickly taken by surprise and destroyed. There were instances when a wolf would be killed, but they were never decimated again like the first encounter. The pack had learned how to fight the Cold Ones and passed the knowledge down from spirit wolf to spirit wolf.

“As the years continued, the descendants of Taha Aki no longer merged with their spirit wolves upon reaching manhood. Instead, the wolf spirits only returned in times of need when another Cold One wandered too close, always in ones and twos. In this way, the pack remained small.

“A larger coven then came and forced the change of your own great-grandfathers, bringing back the spirit wolves. However, the leader spoke to Ephraim Black as if he were a man, promising not to harm the Quileute people. Unlike the untamed beauty and fierceness of those who came before, these Cold Ones swore to their humanity. Ephraim knew they did not need to offer a treaty of peace between them, the pack was outnumbered, yet their civility proved something to the young alpha. He accepted the offer provided they were to remain off of Quileute land. They have stayed true to their side, though their presence so close to our tribe does draw others.” I listened to the tale, yet wondered what made these so-called Cold Ones that different.  _ What did my great-grandfather see if they’re so terrible? _

“However, trouble with the Cold Ones seems to be stirring yet again, so it is now you,” my dad continued and the rest of the elders glanced at the four of us as he somberly spoke, “who must protect the tribe now.” I remained seated where I was and for the first time of the night, I felt cold. It wasn’t until another warm hand patted my shoulder that I looked away from the dancing flames.

“It is a lot to take in, I know,” Sam spoke, “there is more you will learn in time, but for now, rest. I will help you sort through it all.” I nodded numbly.

“Wait,” a disturbing thought occurred to me, “you can only- you don’t know what I’m thinking now do you?” I whispered. That brought a deep laugh from him.

“No, only when we are wolves will we share thoughts. It’s late though, help your dad and get some rest.” I found my dad waiting for me to head back down to the car and felt my body move, but I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely registered when we were home.  _ Holy fucking hell _ .  _ Why me? _

  
  



	3. Never Ending Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone is keeping safe and healthy during this time. There are allusions to rape and violence in this chapter, not a lot, but it could be a trigger for some. Please, please be warned.
> 
> \- BattleScarredKitsune
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any character from Twilight.
> 
> Edit May 31st, 2020: If you have not done so, there are a few edits to chapter two to help flesh out the mythos better. The plot bunnies just won't let it be.

The drive home was tense. Ever since I had told my siblings of Alice’s vision, little was said, not that I minded. However, it was becoming a losing battle to my own thoughts as the others’ had swirling speculations that were sometimes too close to my own dark fears.

_ “He will be tracking her soon _ ,” Alice commented as she looked through the window, gauging the time.

“ _ Someone who has this much control will be difficult to fight, we must be ready _ ,” her husband’s down to business attitude was almost welcomed, except I wanted nothing more than to avoid such a conflict. Emmett had other ideas.

_ “Action! Woohoo! We can totally take whoever this is! Finally, something to DO!” _ I felt none of my brother’s excitement.

“ _ We shouldn’t be concerning ourselves with this. They’re just humans in a different city outside of our territory. If we stick our necks out, we’ll just end up dead, _ ” Rosalie’s bitter remarks were unfortunately the loudest, as if she was intentionally trying to annoy or hurt me. My hands tightened on the wheel and I could have sworn I saw her smirk slightly.  _ Maybe I should just leave?  _ The thought played over in my mind again. I was so tempted to do just that, to just pack up what I wanted and leave, but I stayed to protect my family. Alice couldn’t see everything, couldn’t catch every little change that happened around us. We were so different from those of our kind that it was much safer to remain together.

The familiar drive came into view and he let muscle memory take over, not at all worried about hitting anything. Once again, I slammed the brakes at the last possible moment and let the car slide into its spot. I heard the sound of three doors opening and I forced myself to open my own. The desire to run, to just race through the trees flooded and raged against the knowledge that I needed to stay and help my family. I finally pulled myself away from staring at the trees and went inside. Everyone was gathered around the dining table, my typical seat vacant. With dread, I silently moved toward it and sat down.

“Alice, you called this meeting,” Carlisle began, “please start.”

“Earlier today I had a vision. There is more going on than newborns. Another vampire has been terrorizing nearby cities. I cannot tell where he is or what he will do next.” Alice’s voice sounded forced and shaken. As she spoke I saw snippets of different visions, different cities. Both Alice and I stiffened as we recognized Port Angeles.

“Edward? Alice?” Esme’s voice floated toward us, concern evident. I focused on the visions flashing through my sister’s mind. There were a number of their kind, each in a separate location. It was all a jumbled mess.

A shaky breath left Alice as she finally turned to our mother, “It’s hard to keep track, there are so many of them. I have no idea why this is happening now. I can’t see the cause and some of the visions keep changing, but I’m certain Port Angeles will have its own string of murders soon.”

Before anyone else could respond a hand slapped down onto the dark hardwood. “All we should be concerned with are ourselves,” the blonde snapped, Emmett trying desperately to hold her back. “We should not be getting involved in others’ problems. I’ve said it before, others of our kind are just looking for a way to get rid of us.” She glared at everyone at the table as if it would sway everyone to her side.

“Be that as it may,” our father spoke, “we, at the very least, must remain aware of what is happening to our territory. For now, we will scout out the Olympic Peninsula. If we find others of our kind, we will try diplomacy first and foremost. Aggression of any kind will only be a last resort or for our own protection. Is that clear?” he locked eyes with Rosalie and, reluctantly, she nodded. “Good. Now, we should decide how to manage. I would prefer that no one goes out alone,” his gaze swept over to me.  _ “I understand your need for privacy, but we cannot afford to be careless. _ ”  _ What little freedom I gained, I have now lost. _

“There are few cities in our territory,” Jasper began, “which will make some of this easier. I recommend pairs or small groups and shifts. Edward and I can scout tonight.” I nodded in agreement. Honestly, I could deal with being paired with just about anyone except Rose at the moment.

“If we are all in agreement, I will let you two go. The rest of us may discuss any other pertinent details.” With that we both moved from the table to run the perimeter of our land, but not before I watched Jasper rest his forehead against Alice’s. It was sweet, I admitted, even as I turned away.

My brother caught up with me and we raced out into the night. Running with Jasper was easy, in many ways. Neither of us spoke much and we were both focused on the task at hand. His calm demeanor didn’t hurt either. For the next several hours, we ran the perimeter, scenting and watching for any signs that one of our kind had gotten through. Close to the treaty line with the Quileutes, I smelled that wonderful scent overlaid with something akin to wet dog.

_ “It smells,” _ was Jasper's astute observation and I couldn’t help but twitch a smile. It did, but it was also familiar. Many years, decades, had passed since I had last glimpsed the smell, but it was different, the undertones not the same as those I recalled.

“Let’s head back,” I turned to my brother who nodded and we ran back to the house. The general feel of the room when we reported nothing back was a mix of relief and disappointment, mostly from Emmett’s side. It soon became routine. Every night a few of us would run the lines, while Alice tried to monitor all the comings and goings. For now, all we could do was pray and wait.

Several weeks passed and we still didn’t find anyone in our territory, but that didn’t mean there was nothing in the surrounding cities. Port Angeles, true to Alice’s visions, was attacked. Five more victims in Port Angeles along with several more in Seattle. This was getting too close for comfort. Even Rosalie was starting to waver in her decision to not be involved. For others of our kind to hunt in such proximity to an established coven was bound to cause issues. If not resolved soon, those who took it upon themselves to govern us will take action, and likely not in our favor.

A few times, one of us caught another’s scent, but it was as if those trails belonged to ghosts. They led nowhere and we would never be able to find it again. It was… unnerving, almost as if someone was toying with us, trying to get us to be in certain places. I almost snorted at the idea of planted evidence. Perhaps the children here at Forks High were finally getting to me. Maybe insanity wasn’t so bad.

Thankfully, or not, the sun had not shined on the small town in days, so I read through the minds of those at the school. The exact opposite of what I had been doing for so long, I was now plunging myself into the minds of all of the building’s occupants. Normally, I would sift through the students and staff periodically, but briefly, barely a touch and only when passing them. Now, a constant stream of voices bombarded me and I tried to look through all of them, attempting to catch something we missed.

While I searched the homefront, as Jasper called it, Alice continued to monitor what was happening in the nearby cities. There was too much going on for us to catch everything, Alice and I knew it, but we tried anyway and it was costing both of us. Going through the minds of everyone at the school also put me at a distinct disadvantage. When I pushed back, the cacophony of voices would be a hum in the background, static I could work around. At this moment, listening to all the thoughts running through the school made it hard to focus, especially as this meant I heard my family as well.

Visions clouded my mind as I strived to pick up any keywords floating through the minds at the school. Blood red eyes and lifeless bodies intertwined with fears within the student body.

_ “-police need to speak with you. _ ” That got my attention. I quickly narrowed my focus, letting all the other voices become a hum and let myself see through the eyes of a sophomore.  _ Wonder what they want, _ her thoughts fluttered by _.  _ The girl followed after the principal, looking down at the ground and averting her eyes, though they flickered to his back constantly.

Inside the principal’s office waited two officers and their faces told me everything I needed to know. Unfortunately, the girl wasn’t yet aware as to their presence. She hesitated at the door before being ushered to a seat.

_ “Miss Thompson?”  _ the female officer asked, a tight smile not reaching her eyes.

_ “Y-yes? _ ”  _ What is it? Wait… are my dad and sister okay? What- _ I searched the officers’ minds and saw glimpses of yellow tape, two broken bodies, pale and lifeless.

_ “We are so sorry to have to tell you, but earlier today, your mother was found dead outside of the local grocery store-” _

_ “What! No! I saw her this morning! You can’t- you must have made a mistake!” _ The girl was close to tears, her vision swimming and fading. As much as I needed information, I didn’t need to trespass on her grief.

_ The poor girl _ , the officer who first spoke thought.  _ “We have already notified your father and he and your sister are flying back as we speak. Until he gets back, we will stay with you unless you have other family that can take you in? _ ” she asked out of courtesy, but she recalled looking up the next of kin and found no one else in the state. I watched through the officer’s eyes as she let the girl cry, she looked at her partner, a young man who looked like he had just graduated from the academy. The memory of what she told him just before walking into her mind.

_ “Telling someone they lost someone precious is difficult. They will first try to deny it and then they will ask why and how it happened. You can let yourself feel for them, but do not let it get in the way of your job. They need you for answers. We have a job to do, they expect us to bring them justice. _ ”

The girl shook her head no finally as her now puffy eyes looked back at the officer.  _ “How? _ ” I could almost laugh after hearing the policewoman’s words, but it just showed how real all this was.

_ “We are trying to find that out, but right now, we should get you home so you will be there when your dad arrives. _ ” Both officers helped herd the girl toward the door and walked her out of the building, letting her slide into the back of a cruiser.  _ This never gets any easier. All these murders. I hope to God this was all just a horrible coincidence. Two murders here and that other one in La Push, _ the officer shook her head.

La Push? There was a murder on the reservation? How did we not know about this? It must have happened late last night or early this morning.

_ “Edward?” _ My gaze snapped over to Alice.  _ “Class is over, we can head to the next period… is something wrong? Did you find out something?” _ I looked up at the ceiling and then back down to my desk to pack everything up. Alice simply nodded, still subdued from all the visions.

School went by, if possible, even slower than before and I found myself trying to reach out farther from the school to see if I could glean more. After the police had left, I found no other useful information from within the school, only rumors about what they thought was wrong.

Finally, I found myself walking back to my Volvo with a quiet Alice at my side. Our siblings met us at the car and we drove back to the house. I was vaguely aware of the drive, watching Alice’s visions as they flickered and changed. Whoever was orchestrating this either knew of her abilities or there were so many different people trying to make decisions that it was simply utter chaos.  _ How had we missed something like this, though? _ I went back through the last several weeks. We had found nothing concrete to go off of and nothing to suggest that others of our kind had gotten anywhere near forks.

“You know something,” Rosalie’s accusation reverberated through the car. I didn’t want to have this conversation in a moving vehicle.

“Yes,” there was no reason to deny it. It wasn’t like I was hiding what I had overheard, but this discussion was not meant for public spaces, of any variety.

“Well spit it out,” she growled.

“I will tell you everything once we are all together,” I tried to be diplomatic.  _ Carlisle would be proud. _ A growl erupted from the back and I found Emmett restraining Rosalie in a bear hug.  _ This isn’t going to go well _ . One didn’t need the gift of foresight to see that.

It seemed I had incurred someone’s favor for we somehow made it back to the house without the car spontaneously combusting, going off the road, or some other catastrophe. No one spoke as we all filed out of the car and into the house, heading straight for the dining room.

“Esme,” my voice still even, “did Carlisle take an extra shift?” Perhaps I was mistaken, this was not my day.

“Is something the matter?” she came down the stairs at vampire speed, but I ignored her in favor of my phone.

He answered after one ring, “Edward, I was not expecting a call from you, is something the matter?”

“You need to return from the hospital, there have been three murders in the area.” Gasps erupted behind me.

_ “What! Why didn’t he say anything!” _ Rosalie’s righteous anger exploded and in my periphery, I saw Emmett holding her back.  _ I should keep my distance for a while… _

_ “How did they get past us? _ ” Jasper looked at his wife in confusion, all the while Alice was forcing herself to try and see what we had missed.

_ “Oh my,”  _ Esme’s voice heralded all of her mothering heart.

“I will be there in twenty minutes,” Carlisle informed me, the line disconnecting. The quiet of the house was broken by the constant shouting in my head. Rosalie kept up a string of profanities and… anatomically impossible situations. The only saving grace was Jasper’s ability to keep everyone from tearing into each other, but even then, the hostility was palpable.

The familiar rumble of Carlisle’s Mercedes announced his arrival to this stalemate just as his thoughts announced his presence to me. A soft opening and closing of a door followed by yet another marked Carlisle’s entrance into the house. Without a word, he simply walked over to his office, placed his bag down, and then moved back toward the dining room. It was implicitly understood that we were all to follow him.

Carlisle and Esme sat first while I slowly reached my seat. Alice just simply sat, while Jasper stood behind her like a guardian. On the other end of the room, Rosalie stood, arms crossed over her chest as Emmett looked helplessly at his wife before sitting at the other end of the table. Already the lines were being drawn.

My sire surveyed the room, his left hand resting in Esme’s right and he waited, his patience longstanding. I knew what he intended and I decided to play along. Rosalie, on the other hand, had no intention of playing nice.

“What do you  _ know _ , Edward,” she growled.  _ Hm, I think that’s the first time she’s used my name in months. _

I looked over to her and then back at my sire, “I overheard an officer contacting the next of kin at school, a sophomore. Her mother and another were killed earlier today and there was an additional death in La Push.” Everyone’s gazes turned to me, but I kept mine locked on Carlisle. He nodded and turned his attention to Alice.

“Have you seen anything related to these deaths?”

“No,” she started, her eyes unfocused, looking far away. “My visions show others in neighboring cities, but nothing in our territory.”

“They must have slipped past us,” Jasper added solemnly.

“Then we shall all split up and run the lines tonight,” he looked pensive for a moment. “Two of us will go through forks and see if any additional information can be gathered. The rest will split into two groups to try and find clues we may have missed. We will continue under the assumption that another one of us has been into our territory until proven otherwise.” He turned to me, “I gather you could not ascertain the cause of death?” I nodded. “Very well, I will see what I may pick up regarding such tomorrow during my shift. Now,” he turned to the rest of the table, “Esme and Rosalie, I would like both of you to gather what you can around Forks. Jasper and Alice, you will run the lines around the eastern side of the Olympic Forest, the rest of us shall take the west.” 

Rosalie stormed out of the room, Emmett watching her leave as Esme kissed Carlisle and rushed out after her. The rest of us went out the back and split up to go our separate ways. Looking up, the clouded sky seemed even more dismal and it gave little hope of what we would find.

Hours later we regrouped after receiving a call from Carlisle. There was additional information from the coroner’s office that had failed to be released to the public. It was better than anything else we had found, just barely detectable scents floating in the air with no obvious rhyme or reason. The thoughts of all of those gathered around the dark mahogany were suffocating and I felt for my brother who barely kept himself calm, waves of his own chaotic emotions sporadically showing through.

“The hearts of all the victims were removed and the blood drained,” Carlisle spoke evenly, his elbows on the table, hands clasped together. His eyes roved over all of us, but I barely caught the thoughts in the room nor his following words. For all of the time I wanted to block everyone out, I would take that hell over the memories that came flooding back. Every part of me stilled, I no longer took a breath, I was as still as stone and in my mind’s eye all I could see were the images I had long hoped were buried.

_ Dark laughter flooded my ears despite how quiet the voice was. “Isn’t he just beautiful like this?” the words continued and I held back the bile rising in me. On the ground was a corpse, bloodied and red, his heart in the hand of his killer. “We are cleaning up the filth and turning it into something more,” I finally looked at Alistair’s face. The man was handsome like many of our kind, but there was a gleam in his eye that only the most vicious and cruel ever had.  _ I need to leave _. His thoughts were even darker and the images I saw tainted my very being, yet I could not look away. It was as if the darkness called to me and I was both entranced and horrified as he bit into the heart and sucked the remaining blood out of the organ. He let it fall to the ground in a sickening  _ thunk _. _

_ The chuckle escaped his lips and he walked toward me, “My, my,” he reached up and it was all I could do to hold back a flinch as the blood staining his fingertips streaked along my cheek. “He was a killer, Edward, could you not smell the blood and death clinging to him like a cloak?” Alistair walked around me. “Imagine all of those he would have killed had we not acted? All the screams from the women he raped, the men he tore apart. Is it not better this way?” his words sang across my senses like honey, yet a part of me recoiled and my eyes looked down into the frightened eyes of the man no longer of this world.  _

_ “Do not worry yourself, Edward,” his hands came down onto my shoulders, his words caressing the skin of my neck, “we will make this world more beautiful.” _

“-ward. Edward,” Carlisle’s voice finally broke through. I looked at him and in his mind I saw my haunted face.  _ He cannot be here. Oh, God. I saw him die, he can’t- _

“I need to leave,” the words left my mouth in a rush, my lungs pulling in more air. A part of my mind wondered if it were possible for one of my kind to hyperventilate as my lungs seemed keen on the idea, yet the rest of me was paralyzed in panic. 

“Son,” the word had my eyes refocusing on his and a gentle hand clasped my shoulder. It was instinct, I recoiled, my hand pushing his away, the chair falling behind me as I backed away toward the wall.  _ “My son? What is wrong? He has not been this skittish in so long.” _

“Don’t,” I choked out and the room was completely silent, even the thoughts drowned out by memories of rough hands and even more harsh swings.  _ Why now? _ I needed to leave, I needed fresh air. All I could smell was the blood of the man on the ground in that dank alley. The lingering scent of death clinging to cold skin and the smell of crisp apples tarnished by rotting meat.

However, before I could go anywhere, a wave of calm hit me and Jasper hovered close. He and Carlisle kept the most obvious of routes of escape closed off to me. Alice stood, as did the others, and all their eyes stayed rooted to my form.

“Edward,” my sire began again, “I am sorry. It was not my intent. I was careless, please forgive me.” The hand that had tried to touch my shoulder in comfort lowered slowly.

_ “What the fuck?”  _ Emmett’s thoughts tried to figure out what was going on.

_ “He’s finally lost it, _ ” Rosalie decided.

_ “He is truly afraid. I have never felt him react this way, least of all to Carlisle,” _ concern lacing Jasper’s thoughts.

_ “Was it the visions? Edward never flinched away before. Why would he freak out now?” _ Alice tried to See my answer, but never received a word.

_ “My poor boy, _ ” Esme lamented. They were all confused. Despite the almost impossibility of keeping secrets, they did not know of the darker parts of my life. Carlisle suspected all those years ago, yet never found out the truth, never dared asked. Even now, he only scratched the surface of the shadow that hung over me.

“Do you think you can continue?” then silently he continued,  _ “We need your abilities, but if you cannot, do what you must to protect yourself.” _ Instead of speaking, for I did not trust myself, I nodded. 

“Very well,” he made a point of looking around the room, “we will break up into two groups: Edward, Jasper, and myself will take the western half of our territory and the rest of you will take the east. Understood?” the undercurrent of authority was not lost on me even in my state. A quick glance toward the other end of the table had me locking gazes with a now put out Rosalie. She simply crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away. Not wanting to stay even if it meant I would be ridiculed for it later, I, carefully so as not to touch anyone, left out the side door behind Carlisle. 

I was beyond the river by the time my adopted brother and surrogate father caught up with me. Blessedly, they remained quiet and kept their thoughts on the task at hand. It didn’t take a mind reader to realize the man I now called my father had purposely split us up in this way. Jasper could keep me calm, whether my mind wanted that or not, and Carlisle’s presence was keeping me grounded. However, the freedom running always gave me and the verdant trees saved me from the darker recesses of my mind more than anything else.

We were nearing the western edge of our land when the calming fragrance danced around me again. The black edges of my mind receded and a natural peace pervaded through myself. I indulged and breathed the scent in deeply, only then noticing the redolent tang intermixing on the breeze, along with another far fainter, but more familiar.

_ “It’s the same scent as before, _ ” Jasper caught the scent as well. Though I had to disagree, it wasn’t  _ quite _ the same, but it brought back memories and, thankfully, these were far less painful.

_ “This scent is one we have not come across in many years, _ ” my sire mused.  _ “Edward, _ ” he thought to me directly, catching my attention easily,  _ “you do not believe they have lived this long do you? _ ” I shook my head slightly, suddenly unsure. They had always associated themselves as humans, despite their abilities, and we had last met them decades prior. Surely they had died a long time ago.

“There is another scent,” both of my companions turned to me.

“How can you tell?” Jasper asked, truly curious. He still struggled to detect the subtle differences between smells, his old life making these vegetarian changes difficult.

“It’s underneath the other smells,” I spoke absentmindedly. The last scent was definitely a vampire, but it was getting closer and closer to the border. Soon we would need to turn back, or risk violating the treaty. Suddenly the wind shifted and its breeze now pushing against our backs. There was a moment, a frozen length of time where instinct took over and I stopped. The abruptness of my actions allowed both men to run past me before they returned to my side.

_ “Edward?” _ they questioned, but I was no longer paying them any mind. I heard others, more thoughts out in the wilderness, but they were connected instead of the natural singularity to which I was accustomed.

“We are going to have company,” I spoke aloud, concerned. The wind gave me nothing, save the scents already lingering. Footsteps approached, but not to the cadence of a pair of feet. The metric was a steady loping of paws, several sets constituting a pack, and these creatures were huge. 

An old memory surfaced, one that had taken place not far from where we were currently standing. Back then, three giant wolves had stalked toward us, only we had outnumbered them with five. Ephraim Black had shifted from wolf to man and we had negotiated the treaty. Now, however, we faced twice as many, judging by the “voices,” and we were only half of our number. The tables were reversed and the clamor of the words I heard did not paint a nice picture, particularly those of “killer” and “revenge.”

“Carlisle,” I warned, “I do not believe this will go well as last time.” My sire’s eyes flickered over to me and then focused on the trees in front of us.

_ “How far away?”  _ he straightened himself and stepped forward slightly, Jasper appearing at his side.

“Too close,” the honesty in my voice signing over what surely would happen. If we ran, there was a chance they would follow and try and kill us. None of us had ever fought what Carlisle and I believed to be coming. By staying, there could be a chance of walking away… provided they would be in a mood to converse.

I heard the thoughts before I picked up the scents, the wind not allowing for a better method of detection. A huge black wolf came right at us and I jumped to the side, the others following suit. Several more wolves broke from the trees and I could not inform Carlisle or Jasper of their intentions. Trying to remain true to the treaty, I avoided attacking, but the constant dodging was becoming a nuisance.

_ “Murderer!” _ a female voice, the only female voice actually, rang above all the others and I couldn’t help but recall the taste of human blood on my tongue. Of a man who had tortured so many other people reduced to mere whimpers before I slaked my own thirst. That word haunted my every step.

_ “Edward!” _ Jasper’s voice pervaded my mind and I dodged yet another attempt at being mauled. This was becoming a very dangerous game of cat and mouse. Two wolves stalked each of us and maneuvered us away from each other. The linking between their minds would have been fascinating if it wasn’t being used to kill us. A large russet wolf tried to attack Carlisle and I moved around a smaller wolf to intercede.

Then the chaos stopped. The calm claimed me once again and I peered into deep, brown eyes. Only two steps away from lunging at me, he stopped his mind suddenly in a whirl. I wasn’t sure what was going on and it seemed neither did this wolf. However, one word escaped the hurricane of thought and emotion:  _ imprint. _

  
  



	4. Impressions and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up! Please enjoy and stay safe!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Twilight.

Everything was moving way too fast and I kept thinking back through these last several weeks.  _ God, had it only been two months? _

In that time, three more wolves joined the pack, the most recent far too young in my mind to be a wolf, not that I was much better. The younger Quil and Leah, surprisingly enough, joined just a few weeks after myself. It was already weird to be butt naked with a bunch of guys in the middle of the woods, but having Leah around just made it worse, awkward. She loathed what being a wolf did, how it ripped Sam away from her and took away her best friend. The mindlink just made that all the more unbearable. It also made me skittish. There were things,  _ thoughts _ , that set me apart and I felt like I was too different from everyone else.

On top of all the crazy wolf stuff and my own maudlin thoughts was the anger, the overwhelming feelings that always threatened to just explode. Paul was the worst, in many ways, always picking fights and Leah didn’t help. The only female wolf was even less consolable, harder to be around when Seth shifted for the first time. He seemed way too young, but Seth was easier to be around than most of the pack. As a result, I typically ran with Seth during patrol. Leah would grumble a lot, but was assigned with Quil. No one wanted to see her and Paul together or even her and Sam.

We found a scent trail and it was one of the few times the entire pack ran together, especially after the attack. No one could figure out how the leech passed our border without being detected, but it had and Seth and Leah paid the price. For now, everyone who didn’t know about us thought their father had died of a heart attack, but… a shudder ran through my frame. It had been bloody and now all of Leah’s anger turned to seething rage. She gave the pack no choice but to go after the trail and now we were running through the trees.

_ “Jacob,” _ the reprimand in Sam’s voice clear,  _ “keep your focus. _ ” Right, sharing of the minds. That was never going to get any easier.

_ “Got it!” _ Seth put his nose to the ground. The kid had an amazing sense of smell and he put himself wholeheartedly into tracking. While his sister festered and boiled with unending rage and aggression, he mourned and grieved quietly in the background, trying to remain the chipper boy we all knew him as. It was hard to watch.

_ “Where?” _ Sam was all business.

_ “West of us, it’s hard to tell if one of them is the same as…”  _ No one called him out on it, we all knew what he meant.

_ “There’s more than one?”  _ Quil asked from beside me.

_ “Pretty sure, _ ” the sandy-colored wolf nodded.

_ “Everyone keep an eye out, no one goes after one of the Cold Ones on their own. Understood?” _ A chorus of “yes’s” went over the link and we all split off into pairs: Seth and Leah, who just wouldn’t leave her brother alone, myself and Quil, and then Paul and Sam. By this time it was just natural, which was freakishly scary.

The smell was the first thing we all really noticed, times like this I didn’t envy Seth. We followed the wind to three figures, who moved into a rough formation, their skin extraordinarily pale and unmoving. I couldn’t see them all well, but it didn’t matter, the others could. Each one was all strangely perfect and a chill ran up my spine. The stories hadn’t done them justice. Beautiful but terrifying.

Before anyone could react, Leah’s anger won out. She immediately went after the one all the way to the right and the rest of us were forced to follow. 

_ “Leah!” _ Across the link, I felt Sam’s frustration, but now was not the time to change tactics. They knew we were here.

Each pair went after one of the Cold Ones in sight. Quil and I went after the male in the middle, he seemed older than the other two. I loped around behind the leech, while Quil distracted him. Flashes of the other fights flickered across the link. All three of the bloodsuckers ducked and dodged, but never went for an attack. It was… weird. Finally, I was in place and was about to take down the leech when the one Seth and Leah were trying to corner was suddenly there in front of me. It was the first time I had seen him face to face and everything changed.

The world narrowed and something in me shifted. The vampire was beautiful, not as perfect as I first believed and there was a knowledge there in his eyes that drew me in. I stopped. My body and mind were no longer interested in what I had planned, what the others were doing. I went to take a step forward when everything came charging back in.  _ What the fuck? _ The step forward turned into a step back.

_ “Jacob!” _ My breathing started to come out faster. Everything came crashing down around me. All their emotions, their thoughts. I froze.

_“Oh my God! Did he just imprint on the leech!”_ _Imprint?_ That- that couldn’t be right. _Oh my God._ I backed away. _Did I just imprint? On a_ vampire _? On a_ male _?_ Though he was… _No!_

_ “Jac-” _ I couldn’t take it. I turned and ran. The trees blurred around me and I continued to run. I didn’t care where I was going, I just needed to get away.  _ Was this even possible? _ No matter how far I ran, how hard I pushed my legs, felt my lungs burn, I could hear them. All the shouting, Sam giving orders, the emotions of disdain and  _ pity _ .

Paws turned into feet and I continued to run until I practically collapsed on the forest floor, the sticks and leaves and uneven earth digging into my palms and knees. The air fluttered across my skin, colder than when I had fur. What was I going to do?

_ A fucking male vampire. I imprinted on a fucking  _ male vampire _.  _ I scoffed.  _ And Sam always said imprints were your perfect half. _ Right.

I started when a branch snapped to my right. Looking up, I found myself staring into the eyes of the man who just ruined my life. My body wouldn’t move and we just watched each other, neither of us moving. Then he took a step.

The entire time he moved toward me, it was slow and measured, and his gaze never wavered from my face. Only feet away he stopped and lowered himself into a squatting position.

“Are you all right?” his voice was melodic. I took a deep breath and, instead of the repugnant stinging filling my nose, a gentle mix of water, cinnamon, and musk. It was a nice surprise until I remembered why I was here in the first place.  _ What the hell am I supposed to say? _

“I’m sorry,” and he actually sounded sincere, “that was an insensitive question. I meant, you are unharmed, yes?” I nodded slowly.  _ Why does he even care?  _ The sad smile that crossed his face made my heart ache, my wolf whining deep in my mind.

“Why are you here?”

“Why did you leave?”  _ Huh? _

“I-” What was I supposed to say? _ ‘Hey, I imprinted on you so now I get to be whatever the hell you want!’ _

“What is imprinting?” My head snapped back to him and I was certain that my eyes were the size of saucers. How did he know that word?

“What- how- how do you know about imprinting?” I was so confused.

“I don’t, but I heard you and your pack mention it.”

“Um, well… wait. You  _ heard _ us?”

“Yes, I will explain, but please, explain why you ran. What is imprinting?”

“It’s-” a sharp growl interrupted before I could say anything. I turned to the sound to see Paul stalking toward us. The le- vampire turned from me to look at Paul, not an ounce of fear on his face. Actually, it was carefully blank.

“I am not here to hurt him,” the vampire spoke directly to Paul and we both seemed to balk at that. “However, I do believe we need to discuss what happened and return to the others.” Paul growled, but didn’t make any other move. The bronze-haired male looked back at me, “I would suggest you shift back or don some clothes.” I blinked a few times and then blanched. I was naked, butt freaking naked. At least he had the decency to only look at my face.

The vampire stood slowly and backed away from us, never letting either of us out of his sight. Blushing like mad, I shifted back and was assaulted by the emotions and thoughts of the others.

_ “How could you?!” _

_ “What the fuck, man?” _

_ “You okay, Jake?” _

_ “Enough!” _ Sam’s voice drowned them all out, even so, I could  _ feel _ all the disdain and anger flooding toward me wave after wave after wave. I took a step forward and noticed that the vamp moved with me. It was… different. Paul growled as we approached, but otherwise said nothing. Strangely, it was the man who was supposed to be my natural enemy who was comforting, in a way. The pack, on the other hand, made it feel like I was walking to my doom. As if what happened was entirely my fault.

The three of us trekked back to where it looked like a tenuous cease-fire. Leah was growling at the other two vampires and all I wanted to do was run. It took Quil looking over at us to see that I had gravitated toward my… imprint. I wasn’t sure how to feel about any of this.  _ How fucked up this is? _

“We are not here to attack your people, we simply followed a scent to the border,” one of the other vampires spoke, the one Quil and I had gone after.  _ Must be the leader _ .

_ “One of us will have to shift and speak with them…”  _ Quil commented.

_ “They’d be vulnerable, it’s not a good idea, _ ” Paul interjected, vehemence thick.

“That will be unnecessary,” my imprint spoke. “I am telepathic. If you are more comfortable, I will translate for you.”  _ Well… that actually explained a few things. _ There was a moment of hesitation before Sam inclined his head. I slowly walked over to the others, Paul moving more quickly to stand just to the right of Sam. My imprint walked over to his… family? Pack? Coven? And I stopped next to Seth, but kept some distance. I felt no welcome from the others.

“It is in both of our interests that we stop whoever is attacking-” a growl from Leah stopped their leader.

_ “ _ You _ are the reason they are dead! We should just kill you and be done with it!”  _ her anger met some agreement.

“They blame us for the deaths and suggest getting rid of us to protect their people,” the telepath spoke, giving a rather… diplomatic version of what Leah had said. The other nodded.

“I understand your vehemence for our kind, but we are not your enemy. Many years ago, we made an agreement, a treaty, between our family and your pack. We agree to continue to honor this accord and offer to help stop whoever is truly responsible for the deaths.”

_ “We cannot allow you onto our lands,” _ Sam started.  _ “However, if what you say is true, we will discuss with the council of a possible truce. _ ”

“They will discuss the matter with their elders, but they stand by the original treaty agreement,” my imprint spoke once again. “There is another matter that seems to be of interest.” My stomach fell. “What is an imprint?” All at once, the chaos of before was back.

_ “We will not speak of this,” _ Sam growled, taking a step forward. He looked to the other before continuing,  _ “We will tell you of our decision in two days from now.”  _ With that, all the others began to back into the forest, only Seth waiting behind. I looked back at my imprint and was torn. There was a part of me that wanted to walk away with them, to stay with my pack, yet there was another that wanted to remain with my imprint.  _ I don’t even know his name. _

“Edward.” I looked up and found him watching me.

_ “Jacob.” _ He inclined his head at me and gave me a half-smile. I turned and walked away, Seth watching the vampires, retreating backward like the rest of the pack. I didn’t care at this point if they attacked. Everything was so messed and I had no idea what to do. Maybe it would be better if they did, if I just wasn’t part of the pack anymore. Maybe I should just go away. In the back of my mind, my wolf whined and howled with each step away from the person who just turned my world on its head.

It was a blur how I went from the middle of the woods to the rest of the pack, only a dull ache staying with me with each step I took. The first thing I noticed as I walked to the others was the quiet. Ever since the first time I shifted, there were always other voices, other emotions, sights, smells. Now there was nothing, and that scared me more than anything.

_ “Jacob,” _ our pack leader spoke and I belatedly realized he must have ordered the others to remain quiet.  _ “We must discuss what has happened.” _

_ “What- I-” _ What was I supposed to say?

_ “You’ve imprinted.” _ There was no room for arguing, not that I could.  _ “We will be telling the council elders what happened.” _ This must be what it felt like to walk to the gallows, to know that your life was gone. That simple sentence felt like a deathblow. All the air in my lungs rushed out and I felt my body shake.

_ “Sam, please-” _ I wasn’t even sure what I was asking and before I could even string together a sentence, the quiet unease that had scared me shattered.

_ “How could you!” _ Leah snarled. The abruptness of her claim practically caused me to jump. I turned to her, but didn’t otherwise move. What exactly could I say? It wasn’t like I chose this.

_ “We must protect the reservation,”  _ Paul added, adamant. More voices clamored across the link, but it was hard to focus on one, especially when Leah and Paul were practically screaming over each other. The worst was Sam. He simply stared at me, didn’t say a word and let Leah and Paul continue to verbally rip me to shreds. I heard Quil’s voice a few times, but it was carefully neutral, Seth just slunk behind his sister, eyes darting around.

Even with the link, everyone was shocked into silence when Sam simply turned around and loped back to the reservation. It seemed that we were going to go straight to the council, which meant straight to my dad... 

The building used for such meetings was old like the rest of the reservation and had seen far better days. A ramp had been jerry-rigged to circumvent the stairs, adding little character to the front. It was a small, simple building, but now it was something to be feared.

_ “Jacob, shift. The rest of you, patrol the border,” _ our pack alpha brokered no argument. The other four trotted off, splitting into pairs and I slowly walked behind a rather large tree to shift and change into the shirt and shorts I had, thankfully, tied to my leg. The silence in my mind was pushed aside as my own fears and doubts began to surface.  _ Did the ancestors or fate or whoever feel like messing with my life  _ more _ was some sort of sick entertainment? How the hell was I supposed to deal with imprinting on a leech? And a guy. I’m not- I mean I don’t- _

“Jacob,” I lifted my head to see Sam watching me with his arms across his chest, face carefully neutral, much like Edward’s had been. _Oh for the love of God, can I_ not _think about him right now?_ The ache in my chest spiked for a moment before dulling once more. “It will take some time for the council to convene, but we will wait for them inside the main hall.” I just blinked.

“I don’t really think standing around is going to do me any good, Sam,” and I couldn’t hide any of the self-loathing that was starting to creep into my thoughts from coloring my voice. I grimaced when Sam gave me a look filled with sympathy.

“Perhaps, but you should use this time to get your thoughts in order.” My shoulders slumped as I trudged my way into the building and found a place to sit, not that it was hard, there were chairs lined up everywhere. 

Instead of joining me, Sam went around the corner to a phone and I heard him start calling people. The murmur of voices on the other end of the line and his deep tenor told me he was slowly informing all the elders of the tribe that a meeting was needed and that it was pack business. All I could feel was my stomach drop and my heart continue to pound. Sitting there in the middle of the hall waiting for people who were going to judge me on something I had no control of was beyond frustrating. How could they know what it’s like to suddenly be imprinted? It wasn’t going like it had for Sam. What was I supposed to do now? Bend over to the bloodsuckers?  _ Fuck no. _ But to Sam, Emily was his whole world. Was that what was going to happen to me now too? And what about the pack? Were they just going to kick me out? And what about Edward? What if he completely ignored the imprint? Was I just going to end up some leech’s mutt? My wolf whined and the pain once again intensified.

I tried to take a deep breath. This was all so confusing. On one hand, I was a werewolf, a protector for the reservation and I was  _ made _ to kill the bloodsuckers. Yet, there was a part of me, my  _ wolf _ no less, telling me that at least _ this  _ vamp was different, or at least I really hoped so. 

Suddenly a thought made its way through me. Maybe I could just ignore the imprint? I was going off the stupid assumption that I  _ had _ to accept the imprint. However, as I thought about seriously trying, the deep ache surfaced with a vengeance and I found myself on my knees panting, hand clutched against my chest.  _ Okay, so maybe that’s not the best idea, but if I don’t  _ think _ about fighting it, don’t think about  _ him _ it will be fine. I can deal with this. It’ll go away if I ignore it. It’ll go away. _

Just as I was gathering myself off of the floor and putting on a mask of my own, I heard the telltale rumblings of a truck driving up the gravel. I watched on like I was going through an out of body experience as one by one the elders of the tribe trickled in. The sound of rubber creaking softly on the wood floors brought me back and I stared resolutely at the wall in front of me as my dad wheeled himself into the room. 

Finally, all of the elders were settled behind a long table and Sam approached them, “We have made contact with some of the Cold Ones.” Murmurs quietly made their way through our audience and a few of the members shifted in their seats, clearly uncomfortable.  _ Che, just wait until they hear all the good news _ .

“Are these the ones who have trespassed upon our lands?” the elder Quil spoke, his voice gravelly with age.

“No… they claim they have not come onto Quileute lands. The scents did not match the one who came onto the reservation,” Sam explained.

“Then why have you called this meeting?” another one of the elders asked. I kept my head down listening, hoping they would just forget I was there, but I could swear I felt eyes on me.

“These Cold Ones claim they are the same as those who made the treaty all those years ago with Ephriam’s pack and they wish to assist us in finding the ones responsible,” he continued, avoiding the real issue. Or maybe just leading up to it.

“We need to discuss this,” Old Quil spoke.

“No,” a chorus of voices interrupted.

“It could prove invaluable,” Old Quil dogged on.

“I will not trust these  _ creatures _ to find justice for my husband,” the only woman on the council continued and I finally understood where Leah got her spunk and attitude.

“That is a little more complicated,” Sam’s hedging had me frozen. “Jacob has imprinted.” There was a pause. “On one of the vampires.” Another pause and then chaos.

“What?”

“How is this possible?”

“Was he bewitched?” Each question made me shrink away a little more. There was something wrong with me. I wasn’t supposed to imprint on a vampire.

“Jacob?” my dad’s voice got through to me and I looked up at him. “How did this happen? What did she do to you?”  _ She _ .

“I- I don’t know,” somehow managing to choke out the words as I desperately hoped not so see more pity and disgust written on my father’s face. “It just happened.”

“Billy,” my alpha’s voice cut through whatever my dad was about to say. “It’s… Jacob didn’t imprint on a female.” The room was utterly silent and I felt my stomach clench uncomfortably. I chanced a glance at the group of elders sitting across the room and suddenly wished I hadn’t. Shock was predominant among the looks, but there was an overwhelming mixture of disdain, disgust, pity and an expression that indicated they really didn’t want to be in the same room as me.  _ Revulsion _ , my mind supplied unhelpfully.

“This was never in the old stories…” They all began talking, but I tuned them out. What could I do now? Should I just pack up what I can carry and run?

“-cob. Jacob,” Sam’s hand was on my shoulder and I looked up at him. “The council is going to discuss the events. Go home.” In a stupor, I nodded. My body felt ladden, but I walked out the door and the next thing I knew I was running. The gravel dug into the skin of my feet before paws dug into the loose stone.

Somehow I made it to the house and I trudged up the steps only stopping at the door when I realized I could not easily open it as a wolf.  _ Dad would kill me if I broke the door. _ Not really in the mood to care, I shifted back and wrenched the screen door open, the old springs protesting in a screech, but I was already through the front door and making my way up the stairs. Slamming my bedroom door shut behind me and launching myself in a heap onto my bed, I curled up in the middle and tried to just forget.

I stared at my wall unseeing, lost in my memories despite my desire to not remember anything. It was all too easy to just imagine my imprint standing there, showing absolutely no emotion, yet somehow managing to be my new center of gravity, the entire field of my vision. The torment of my wolf kept the image there, in plain view of my mind’s eye and for every minute that passed by, the ache seeded itself deeper and deeper into my chest. God, it hurt.

But that wasn’t even the worst of my inner turmoil. No, as easily as my mind recalled how the vampire stood before me, my inner eye rendered the image of my dad, the way his face contorted as if he no longer knew who I was. How he looked at me as if there was something fundamentally  _ wrong _ . Whether it was because the le -  _ Edward _ , my brain interrupted,  _ again _ \- was a vampire or because he was, well, a  _ he _ , seemed inconsequential. 

Not too far from the house, I heard a wolf howl and I was sorely tempted to shift. To just run and never turn back. Surely if I kept running, everything would just fade into the background. No one would miss the  _ traitor _ . No one would miss me.

I didn’t know how long I stayed curled up in a ball like a child on the center of my bed, but the next thing I knew, I heard voices and the screen door opening. Rubber skidded along hardwood floors and then the sound became muffled.  _ Must be in the living room _ . However, there were  _ two _ voices downstairs, not just dad’s. I curled up tighter as I heard the stairs creak slightly. It didn’t matter if I was acting like a child, I wanted to be alone, to just figure out what the hell was going on in my life.

There was a knock on my door and a soft creak indicating someone had opened it, “Jake?” I turned to see Sam standing in the doorway. “Jake, I need you to come downstairs. We are going to talk.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a damn order.

Standing up, I made my way toward Sam, grateful I at least put on a pair of cutoffs. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, least of all my dad. We made our way down the stairs, Sam as stoic as always and I felt like I was headed toward a death sentence. Shifting and running away was sounding better by the minute.

“Jacob,” my dad’s voice was neutral, scarily neutral. I really didn’t want to be here right now. “Take a seat.”  _ That’s not good. _ No one said a word as we all sat in the living room, dad in his chair facing the small coffee table, Sam in the large lazy-boy recliner and me on the sad looking couch.

“I spoke with the elders about your… imprint,” Sam started when it became obvious my dad wasn’t going to say anything else. “Until we are sure that it is not something caused by the Cold Ones, you are to stay away from him.” My head whipped over to Sam from where I had been staring at the floor in profound interest.

“Jacob,” my father said again, as if having trouble coming to terms with me, “we will figure out what that creature did to you and fix it. Whatever it is, it’s not your fault. You would not have imprinted on a Cold One or a male.”  _ Male. Right, yeah, sure. _ Afraid to say anything, I just nodded numbly at him.

“As such,” I turned back to Sam, “ you are going on patrol duty with Paul and Quil. Get some fresh air.” A single nod was my only response again.  _ What the hell was I supposed to do? _ Everything was starting to go numb. I didn’t know what was going on anymore.

“We have still agreed to work with the vampires,” Sam continued, “It will give us an opportunity to both track down whoever attacked our people and to figure out what is going on with you.” Everyone fell silent after that. Despite the words, I got the distinct impression that they were both disappointed in me, perhaps even disgusted by the very idea that I may have imprinted on a male vampire. I wasn’t sure what was worse.

Feeling the need rise in me again to run, I stood up and, giving a shaking nod to Sam and my dad, who barely even looked at me, before I just walked out of the house. The sun had long set and the sea breeze was cool on my skin, but I barely felt anything. I wanted the cold, it was calming and right now I needed to be calm. Most of me was numb, but there was another part of me that was in agony and another that was in a rage.

Shucking my shorts once I was behind the house, I tied it with the cord around my ankle and shifted. I ran. The forest soil beneath my feet gave way as I ran through the trees, earthy scents filling my nose. There was a deep, profound longing to just leave. To continue east, deep within the Olympic Reserve or maybe even farther.

My thoughts were cut short when I felt the presence of two other wolves: Quil and Paul.  _ Sam must have told them to follow me. _ They didn’t say anything, but I could feel their emotions all the same. Paul was angry, though that was hardly unusual for him, and Quil was confused and betrayed. I could understand that a bit. We had always been told that imprints were sacred, but now… I don’t know what to think. If this was truly an imprint, then I practically just sullied something beautiful from our own history. My imprint was supposedly a male vampire. A creature we were made to hunt and destroy, not to mention the fact he was a  _ guy _ .

“ _ Focus on locating any trails,”  _ Quil spoke, his mental voice somber.

_ “Quil--” _

_ “Let’s just focus, Jake, _ ” he cut me off. That hurt. Even my own supposed brothers were now wary of me. I felt so alone.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, I let my mind shut down, tried to let the wolf side of me take over. Setting my nose down to pick up any scents in the woods, still feeling Paul’s rage and Quil’s feelings of betrayal. There was nothing but forest critters and trees.

The air kept growing colder as the night went on, my breaths coming out in wispy pants. We hadn’t caught the scent of any bloodsucker and it was likely well past midnight. The natural silence of the forest was no longer comforting, but oppressive and the familiar minds of my pack brothers felt alien to me. They barely said anything to me and I felt like I was being ostracized, a true pariah. 

_ “I found something!” _ Paul shouted to Quil and I, sending an image of his location. We both changed our courses to meet him, the stench of vampire burning Paul’s nose.  _ Maybe we’ll finally get the fucker. _

We met up with Paul running with the scent, it was fresh, not even an hour old. Adrenaline started to course through me and I felt the others getting excited as well.  _ Maybe Sam was right, perhaps I just needed to go for a run. _

The trees gave way to an open field. It would have been a pretty sight with the moonlight beaming down if not for the bloody scene in the middle. A female stood in the middle dressed in a simple dress, yet she didn’t seem to be cold, and her skin glowed brilliantly in the lunar bath. Blood coated her hands and there were bodies strewn around her in a macabre circle. The scent assaulted my nose and I almost gagged with how dense the smell seemed to be, mingling with the stench of vampire. She must have heard us approach because instead of her long hair trailing down her back, we were now staring at her face. Blood dripped from her chin and she gave us a chilling smile. Before we could take another step, the sound of a branch broke behind me and a low growl filled my ears.

  
  



	5. Darkness and Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late, COVID certainly has been keeping me on my toes. RL has gotten… complicated, but I will try to continue and post somewhat consistently! Please R&R, and stay safe and healthy!
> 
> -BattleScarredKitsune

_“Jacob!”_ a deep voice tried to cut through the overlapping thoughts and spiraling inner mind of the russet wolf.

 _“Oh my God! Did he just imprint on the leech!”_ one of the other wolves spoke.

 _“Imprint?_ _Oh my God,”_ the wolf whose scent pulled me in began to back away. “ _Did I just imprint? On a_ vampire _? On a_ male _? No!”_ the wolf’s thoughts continued to spiral until he was peeling away from the clearing as fast as his legs would carry him. As the distance between us widened, a part of me felt like it was running along with him and I _mourned_ the loss. I ached to follow, but most of all, I was confused. What they were all saying made little sense and I wanted answers, my curiosity and the draw to the russet wolf almost overpowering.

 _“Jacob-”_ another, deeper voice joined the others, but the wolf, no _Jacob_ , that’s what he was called, was already gone. There was a torrent of thoughts from the rest of the pack, most of it of an unsavory nature. It seemed little would be discussed at present with this new development.

“We apologize if we did something to insult one of your own,” Carlisle added in confusion, but ever the one to keep the peace. Jasper, following our father figure, let a calmful serenity settle over all of those in the clearing and at least the agitation on their side lessened.

Their leader took another step forward and gave a slight inclination of his head, “ _This is of no concern of yours.”_ I stiffened at the insinuation, my eyes darting in the direction of where Jacob had run. The truth was, I should have left it be, but I could not. My instincts were clamoring for me to follow that it was most certainly a concern of mine.

“They do not blame us,” I turned to my sire. “But I shall make sure it is so,” I added a half-hearted explanation for my next action, ignoring more shouts of indignation and other unflattering jibes. I really had no logical reason to follow, should have just continued to exist in this grey half-life, yet those beautiful brown eyes held promises I could only dream of.

“ _Edward?_ ” my sire questioned, but I was too far into my task to stop now.

“ _Strange, he… no, perhaps?”_ Jasper’s assessment of my emotions, though he seemed to have a better understanding than I. I ignored the wolves as I followed the calming scent through the trees, pondering what conclusion Jasper believed to have made. In the middle stood a young man in all his natural glory.

Slowing down, I purposely stepped on a stick, not wanting to suddenly appear next to the youth. His head jerked up at the sound and his eyes latched onto mine. A pang of hurt and fear rushed through my deadened soul. Those beautiful, deep brown eyes looked at me as if I were the harbinger of doom, of _his_ doom. As if my very existence spelled disaster for him.

Parts of me long buried wanted to console the young man before me, to chase away the tormented mein that crossed his features. That part of me took a step forward. I was careful to keep my pace even and slow, always making sure he could guess my intentions.

When there was far less space between us, almost close enough for me to reach out to him, I stopped and brought myself down so we would be at the same level, anything to make this more even. It was so strange, but I wanted to reassure him. To tell him everything would be okay.

“All you all right?” I asked quietly, keeping my voice soothing.

His thoughts easily made their way over and I almost winced, _“What the hell am I supposed to say?”_

“I’m sorry,” I felt the pang of regret and some other emotions I had no idea how to name, “that was an insensitive question. I meant, you are unharmed, yes?” 

A slow nod was the only verbal answer, but I listened to his thoughts as well, trying to understand, _“Why does he even care?”_ It hurt. Hearing his thoughts sound so desolate made something in me break and I could not stop the sad smile that donned my lips.

“Why are you here?” he asked and I found that I didn’t know how to answer it. Why did I follow him? Why did I trust this… instinct to ensure his safety?

Instead, I asked, “Why did you leave?”

A less than articulate thought accompanied a couple of blinks before he tried to speak, “I-” He stopped and just stared, but his thoughts continued. “ _What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey I imprinted on you so now I get to be whatever the hell you want!’”_ What?

“What is imprinting?” I couldn’t help but ask. The question had the boy snapping his attention back to me, his expression like a hunted prey.

“What- how- how do you know about imprinting?” he stuttered with obvious confusion.

“I don’t,” I answered honestly, “but I heard you and your pack mention it.” Perhaps, I should not have said anything, giving hints to my ability, but I just _felt_ I needed to know. 

“Um, well… wait. You _heard_ us?” his mind was now racing and, again, I felt the urge to soothe him.

“Yes, I will explain,” and I realized I would, I wasn’t just placating him, “but please, explain why you ran?” _Why is my being here hurting you?_ “What is imprinting?”

“It’s-” he stopped when a growl cut him off. I could hear all the vitriol of his pack and I almost wanted to just hide him away from it all. Instead I looked at the new wolf, careful that no emotion showed through.

“I am not here to hurt him,” I answered one of the many questions being bounced around through the mental links. “However,” I continued unperturbed by the, mostly incoherent and overlapping, chaos, “I do believe we need to discuss what happened and return to the others.” The wolf growled at me, but did nothing else. I was not overly concerned. A lone wolf or two would not be too difficult to handle and I could always run.

Turning back to the person I wanted to speak with, “I would suggest you shift back or don some clothes.” My statement was met with bemusement until it seemed to dawn on him that he was naked. His thoughts had me keeping my eyes on his face and I carefully stood and stepped back, keeping both him and the other wolf in my sights.

Watching him shift was fascinating. The russet fur took the place of warm, brown skin and his limbs looked as if they were changing and realigning themselves until a large wolf stood where the boy had sat.

I was in awe until my attention to his thoughts was swarmed by those of his pack.

_“How could you?!”_

_“What the fuck, man?”_

_“You okay, Jake?”_

_“Enough!”_ An older voice broke through it all and I almost grimaced. Walking beside the newly transformed wolf, I wished to just remain. I could feel the heat radiating from him and there was a longing to run my hands through the fur. I refrained.

A growl came from the brown wolf, but no other indication or sign of aggression came forth. The thoughts coming from the rest of the wolves, especially as they watched us walk together, reinforced my desire to just run with my wolf and protect him. 

_My…?_ I stopped any other thoughts from progressing. This was dangerous. I had never allowed myself to fantasize about a partner, especially a mortal. It would only end in heartache.

Our race back through the trees was strangely quiet. I was sure if it were just myself and _Jacob_ , if what I heard was correct, this would be quite a pleasurable experience. As we had several other unwanted guests, it was less than ideal.

When we arrived, my family was still standing where I had left them, all giving me curious looks and trying to ask questions I was pointedly ignoring. Jacob had almost gravitated toward me and I was strangely pleased with the development, until I saw how much the realization hurt. It was painful to watch such a beautiful creature slowly break itself apart.

 _“How fucked up is this?”_ I heard Jacob’s comment and I couldn’t help but agree.

“We are not here to attack your people, we simply followed a scent to the border,” Carlisle spoke, trying once again to be diplomatic. In a bid to try and soothe the poor wolf and to not have my family questioning my actions further, I moved back to where I had once stood. My mask almost faltered at the almost comical way my wolf spoke about Carlisle. I froze at my own thoughts. _My_ wolf? I had no right to him. I just needed to focus, to keep all these burgeoning emotions at bay, whatever they were.

 _“One of us will have to shift and speak with them…”_ one of the wolves commented and I forced myself to pay attention. It was not normally this difficult.

 _“They’d be vulnerable, it’s not a good idea,_ ” another acerbically pointed out.

“That will be unnecessary,” I decided to interject, if only to speed things along. “I am telepathic. If you are more comfortable, I will translate for you.” A stray comment from Jacob wafted over to me, but I focused on the inner deliberation of the pack. From a scientific standpoint, it was a truly fascinating experience how intertwined the minds of all the wolves were. Did they have such abilities while human? The brief time Jacob had only two legs deemed that to be false, but perhaps it was simply limited in that form.

Carlisle took up the conversation there, “It is in both of our interests that we stop whoever is attacking-” only to be cut off by a sharp growl.

 _“_ You _are the reason they are dead! We should just kill you and be done with it!”_ the only female voice I had noticed roared through all the other thoughts. Hm. Interesting.

“They blame us for the deaths and suggest getting rid of us to protect their people,” I explained, trying to be somewhat diplomatic in deference to the one person who had helped me more than I could ever say. My sire simply nodded.

“I understand your vehemence for our kind, but we are not your enemy. Many years ago, we made an agreement, a treaty, between our family and your pack. We agree to continue to honor this accord and offer to help stop whoever is truly responsible for the deaths,” Carlisle continued to treat despite the obvious disapproval. I did not need to be a telepath to see it.

 _“We cannot allow you onto our lands,”_ a calm wolf, the one who seemed to be in charge spoke. _“However, if what you say is true, we will discuss with the council of a possible truce._ ”

“They will discuss the matter with their elders, but they stand by the original treaty agreement,” I translated once more. “There is another matter that seems to be of interest. What is an imprint?” I tried my best to keep everything neutral, yet the lowering of Jacob’s head and the almost whiplash of anger caused due concern in my mind.

 _“We will not speak of this,”_ the one from before spoke in no uncertain terms. He turned his head back to Carlisle, _“We will tell you of our decision in two days from now.”_ As if some sort of dismissal was given, the wolves began to retreat. However, Jacob and another, one of the smaller wolves, remained. The vacillating thoughts of his mind almost had me making the decision to approach, but I refrained. I could feel the incredulous thoughts of my family watching everything and now there wasn’t an entire pack of giant wolves to distract them.

 _“I don’t even know his name,”_ was another stray thought from the russet wolf. Well, that I could remedy with little issue.

“Edward,” I offered in hope to right whatever wrong I had done to his person. 

_“Jacob,”_ he returned and I inclined my head, the half smile coming about of its own accord. It was _nice_ , I supposed, to be formally introduced. Something in the wolf relaxed and both him and his companion retreated. I watched and listened as they went, and found myself once again wishing I could run up to Jacob and soothe his troubled mind.

There was something wrong with me. There must be. I had never taken a liking to another like this, and most certainly never this quickly. Whether I had been human or vampire, this just wasn’t normal.

Not wanting to think upon these unsettling observations any longer, I turned my gaze to the rest of my family. No one had really moved since the pack departed, but several of my family either openly watched me or sent what they thought were unnoticed glances in my direction. Holding back in a sigh, I held myself neutrally, allowing nothing to show on my face, and waited them out. It was an old tactic that had yet to become ineffective.

Carlisle broke the silence first, still regarding me, but keeping his forefront thoughts carefully controlled, “We shall continue this conversation at home.” And like the pack, it was the signal to our family to move. We all ran in a loose formation back to the house, the thoughts of my family members becoming too loud even as I tried to tune them out.

It wasn’t a long trip back, certainly not at the speeds we were traveling at, yet it felt too long, too strained for me to find this anywhere near enjoyable as I normally would. As per all the Cullen discussions, we reconvened in the dining room. Carlisle, as the head of our family, sat at the head of the table, Esme to his left as his mate, and I to his right as his second. The others took seats as they saw fit, Alice next to me with Jasper standing behind her in constant vigilance, and Emmett and Rosalie taking up residence next to Esme. It was funny, in a way, that despite how we named ourselves, a family versus a coven, we still adhered to some of the old vampire laws and continually sat as such.

Carlisle met the eyes of each of us, taking his time to begin the meeting. It was an intriguing tactic with our group, the majority of us stuck as teenagers. Patience was not always considered an important trait amongst us.

“We shouldn’t have agreed, Carlisle,” case in point as Rosalie barked out, crossing her hands over her chest and raising her chin in defiance. If anything, it reminded me of a rich and spoiled brat not getting her way, a fitting picture for Rosalie to be sure.

“And why should we have not?” my sire asked, hands folded gently on the table, leaning back into his chair simply regarding my irate sister.

“It is not our problem, Carlisle. What others choose to do is on them. We should not get involved, as I have said since the beginning. One foot out of place and we could be targeted ourselves,” the venom in her voice profound. I half expected to see it dripping from her fangs, but she kept at least a modicum of civility. Barely.

“The wolves are our neighbors,” Carlisle began in a measured tone, “and we have a standing treaty with them. The killings will bring more eyes here than we need and it will be expected of us to act if others of our kind do not follow our laws. By stepping in now and offering our assistance, we will help solidify our standing with the shapeshifters and avoid any unnecessary confrontations. Perhaps we can even save a few lives in the process.” I knew he meant the newborns as well as any humans that would have been hunted. I loved and hated Carlisle’s compassion. He saw the good in everyone, even in the darkest of places.

“Now,” he continued on, “the main issue will be finding them. We know roughly where they are based on the news. So, suggestions?” Carlisle still held his hands clasped on the stained wood and let his gaze travel over all of us, patiently waiting for someone to speak.

“We should send people to the crime scenes,” Jasper added, nodding to himself. “Alice and I could go to Seattle and Emmett and Rosalie to Port Angeles. It will be the fastest way to gain information and potentially give us a new trail to follow.” I had to agree with his assessment, thought I worried about the murder committed on the reservation, so close to home. It was almost canny how the deaths were being committed around our territory but not directly at its heart.

“Agreed,” Carlisle said after several of us nodded in agreement. “Esme, Edward and I can see about working with the wolves to determine if anything else can be learned from what happened on the reservation.”

“I will inform the school,” Esme added, ever the mother, a warm smile on her lips. I supposed it _was_ now Tuesday and we would be expected to attend, but it was the furthest thought from my mind.

Carlisle made another glance around the table. “If that is all, I suggest we all prepare for what we need to do.”

At the clear dismissal, we all left the dining room and I sequestered myself in my room, turning on my music and just staring out the window. The rhythmic beat of the melody helped drown out all the thoughts and sounds in and around the house and for the first time since the clearing, I let thoughts wonder.

The killings were familiar, or at least a few were. It was as if there were two groups participating in the murders, one hiding in the shadows of the other. Some of the deaths were obvious by their signs to be caused by a group of newborns, but the others. _They_ indicated someone of great skill and experience, nothing a newborn in the haze of feeding would be able to do. 

A coil of dread spooled in my gut and I had to steady myself. He _burned_. 

_Flames flickered around him, licking for purchase at his skin. He stood just out of reach as another of his kind screamed and thrashed and_ laughed _at him while the fire burned all the more._

 _“This will not kill me, Edward,” the monster purred even as the acrid smoke filled our lungs. “I will be back and you_ will _follow in my footsteps.” A smile sharp as a knife and just as deadly marred his beautiful features. “Oh, how I will love to watch you burn the world around us, my child, my_ successor _,” his voice now saccharine._

_I stayed just long enough to ensure the red and orange tongues began to taste his skin then I ran. All I could hear was monstrous laughter and a promise that I would be just like him._

I pulled myself back. There was no way _he_ made it, but… No, this did not seem to be either of those demons. Letting shadows of doubt cloud my judgement would do nothing but confuse the situation. I needed my wits about me and dredging up old spectors of monsters long since dead and dust did nothing.

Taking yet another steadying breath, something almost antithesis to my character, I focused on the rain pattering at the window. Rivulets of water made their way down the glass in winding trails. The small streams bled away to another scene that held such melancholy and uncertainty: Jacob as he lay almost curled up on himself in the middle of a small glade. The picture tore at my unbeating heart, yet I could not discern why. Watching the young man fall to pieces was not a joyful event by any means, but I had seen such horrors in my long life, why would such call my humanity now? 

The emotions Jacob brought out in me despite all of my carefully constructed walls concerned me perhaps even more than the demons waiting in the shadows of my mind. Yet, there was something oddly familiar about the whole ordeal.

I stared at the rain even more, my entire body freezing as my mind ran through all I could think of pertaining to such extraordinary events and then there it was. Such a simple thing, yet novel all at once. I had seen this very phenomenon happen twice right before my eyes, once with Carlisle and the second with Rosalie. Both had gone through a sort of transformation upon meeting Esme and Emmett, their worlds shifting slightly. They had found their mates, or at least someone who could be a potential lifemate, and ever since, both couples had prospered. Even Alice and Jasper displayed the traditional aspects, the almost telepathic knowledge of when their chosen partner was in trouble and the strange ability to know the other’s mood. 

But my firsthand knowledge was not what told me I was nearing the truth, but the strange _gravity_ that pulled me toward the young man. I had wanted to follow and comfort him, shield him from the horrible truths of the world. His scent, which should have been off putting in the best scenarios, was addictive. It made so much sense, yet was all so wrong.

His people’s lineage of shapeshifting lent itself to _killing_ my kind. Why would such a creature be perceived as a potential mate? Would Jacob even _want_ such a thing? To become entwined with a monster? And beyond our species, did Jacob even mind the male sex attractive? Did he even _know_ if he did? I was unsure of his actual age, but coming into one’s sexuality, especially as a teen or young adult, could be a daunting or even harrowing task. I remembered that all too well.

Another stray thought wound its way in, Jacob’s words replaying in my mind: “ _What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey I imprinted on you so now I get to be whatever the hell you want!’”_ What about this imprint? What did it mean and how did it fit into all of this?

A knock at my door broke me out of any potential spiral I could have built for myself. I dredged my sight away from the droplets plummeting to the earth to the door. A simple piece of wood separating me from the scrutiny of my family.

“Enter,” I whispered, knowing full well Jasper could hear me, his thoughts concerned.

“Are you all right?” he asked respectfully after shutting the door. I had always found that part of his personality a bit endearing. He was older than myself by several decades, yet he deferred to me in many cases, offering his advice like some sort of advisor. Or perhaps, the darker part of my mind purred, far too close to my demon’s voice, he sensed the darkness in me, the monster even among our kind just lurking beneath the surface and knew he would be able to do nothing in the face of it.

Closing off all thoughts and blanking my emotions once again, I responded, but not before I saw the raw concern flash across his features, “I am as well as I can be given the circumstances.” He nodded slowly, as if assessing everything, no doubt finding my normally non-existent emotions turbulent and troubling.

“Something has been troubling you,” Jasper decided to state the obvious. I barely withheld the grimace that threatened to form on my lips.

“Yes,” I responded to the non-question. If he wanted answers, he would need to ask the questions.

“What is bothering you? Something with the reports?” he inquired a bit more pointedly.

I looked back out the window as I answered, “Yes. The hearts. It reminds me of a part of my life I had hoped to forget.”

“What do you mean exactly?” Jasper asked in obvious confusion. I supposed I should not have been surprised, I had only given scant details about my life and those few lonely excursions on my own.

“Suffice it to say that my life coincides, in many ways, the most with yours and Rosalie’s,” I responded then sighed. Everything in the house went quiet and I knew the others were also listening in. “Like you, I have seen my fair share of death and like Rosalie, I know the unforgiving nature of the upper echelons.” It wasn’t the full truth, hardly even a small part, but I was not about to tell them all my darkest secrets. Yes, it was hypocritical of me, but I did not discuss their secrets and kept them as well as my own. Although we all knew the basics of each other’s lives, I knew the details were discussed only in the quiet hours between mates. I should have the same opportunity, or lack thereof.

Jasper understood my reticence, his life had not been easy either and we had formed a sort of kinship because of it. “Why does it distress you so?”

“The last time I saw such things was by another vampire who enjoyed torturing his victims, but he has long since been dead,” I eventually gave, the waves of calm and a feeling of _wanting_ to share overrode my natural inclinations to keep my mouth shut. I gave Jasper a half hearted glare. 

_“My apologies, Edward, I was simply trying to help,”_ he thought quietly, sending a wry smile in return. “I shall leave you to your thoughts.” With that last remark, my brother left my room and gently shut the door behind himself, once again leaving me to the illusion of solitude.

Returning once again to the window, I could not stop the thoughts the last few seconds conjured back up. Or rather the memories. The insidious laughter and raced down my spine in equal parts excitement and horror. The way another could simply give you pleasure or pain by a mere whim and touch. I didn’t want these memories to come back, didn’t want the flashes of waking nightmares that snuck their way to the forefront of my mind.

Another measured breath helped me push them away, but the cloying oil-like feeling in my mind, the dual-natured touches that set me ablaze in agony and bliss against my skin was all too real in these moments. They dug their claws into my already tattered soul with far too much vigor for me to truly forget, one of the many curses of my kind.

I needed to leave. I needed fresh air and the emptiness of true solitude. For a time, I just needed to forget that such a part of my life had happened and left such scars.

Practically launching myself from where I had curled up on the couch beneath the window, I made quick work of the stairs and ducked through the back door. The rain hadn’t let up, not that Forks saw much of anything else, but the water soothed something in me, as did the natural scents of the earth.

 _“_ Should we follow? _”_ Esme’s words trickled down to me like the rain to the ground.

“No,” Carlisle’s voice was warm and concerned, “Give him space.” And that was it. No one made a move to follow after me or even humored thoughts to chase after at a distance, though I could still hear their concerned thoughts. Mostly. Rosalie was once again on her own, despairing that she had to involve herself in something she did not care for. Emmett’s concern was divided for me and his mate, while Alice and Jasper stood together in solidarity, a quiet bastion as I ran.

Soon the trees overcame civilization and I could hear nothing in my mind save what nature sang, and I was glad of it. I continued the same path as I had previously. Though I knew the scent would be long gone by now, it had given me a taste of serenity I longed to get back. 

I took deep breaths and let them out, the fresh air feeling like a purge for all the taint I held within my body. Slowly, that same tranquility began to settle in my bones and I closed my eyes letting all the sounds of the forest keep the dark thoughts at bay. It was so much easier to build up my walls away from people. Even in sparsely populated towns like Forks, all I could see were all the people I had seen die. All their thoughts I couldn’t keep out made me feel as if I was drowning some days, as if I was barely holding back tidal waves of thought.

Time ceased to mean anything and, as long as I was back before the light shown once more over the eastern horizon, I could simply breathe. The crisp clean air and the cleansing rain helped my entire being until it was tinged with iron. For a brief moment, I thought I was back in the past. 

_Blood mixed with the rain as it pooled all over the ground. I could do nothing as they claimed their fill, bile filling my stomach. At my feet lay another sin, another wrong by my own hands. The man’s thoughts had pulled me in, their darkness tainting both of us in equal measure, while I tried to convince myself that I was doing this to protect other people._

_I watched as my_ companions _finally ended their fun._

 _“Is it not right, Edward, for us to take our fill? They are weak, Edward, and we are strong. Do not force yourself into a feeble form, let yourself be free,”_ _the monster purred in my ear once again. It was getting harder and harder to walk the line. The monster under my skin was trying to claw its way out and I knew I was getting weaker and weaker in fighting it._

_“Yes,” the fiend continued, his childe looking on in complete rapture, “do not hold back.”_

It was happening more and more often now. For years, _decades_ , I could suppress these darker thoughts, at least until I could deal with them in solitude.

Taking another breath, I tasted the faint spore of blood in my mouth. It was human. The amount I could smell told me this was no small cut and I found myself racing through the trees. With all the recent activity, perhaps we could finally get ahead of whoever was doing this. In my pocket I felt the subtle vibration of my phone going off, but I paid it no mind, I needed to see what was happening and if another of my kind had finally trespassed on our lands.

The trail led me far too close to the reservation for my taste, but the scent remained on our turf, mixing now with the distinct aroma of my kind. I was almost upon it when I caught the scent of wolf, pungent and burning along with the smell for which I somehow longed.

Sounds and thoughts slammed into my senses as I neared. Trepidation filled me and I pushed my body to its limits, speeding through the forest as fast as I possibly could. Trees gave way to a clearing and I stopped in deepest dread.


End file.
